Friday Linkage

A man who rose to fame covering Bob Marley songs and riding the coattails of Lauryn Hill’s amazing voice will probably be the next President of Haiti. Why? Because Presidential elections there probably have the same student-council election vibe that they do here in the ‘States.

Hey, if the good ol’ U.S. of A can elect a man with zero executive experience to the land’s highest office on the strength of his ability to give a speech and celebrity status, who are we to tell Haiti they can’t do the same? Sean Penn, of all people, questioned Wyclef’s motives. The musician tried to allay Penn’s concerns by saying,

I just want Sean Penn to fully understand I am a Haitian, born in Haiti and I’ve been coming to my country ever since (I was) a child. He might just want to pick up the phone and meet, so he fully understands the man.

Oh, OK that should make Spicoli feel a lot better.

America’s sweetheart has converted to Hinduism. So America’s most beloved hooker is now a Hindu while her white trick in shining armor is a Buddhist. In the words of the often imitated but never duplicated Darth Vader, “The circle is now complete”.


I hope none of my ancestors came back as the oysters that produced those pearls

Next time you think about using your car horn when you’re in H-town, consider this.

A federal judge’s decision to strike down California’s Proposition 8 should encourage polygamists nationwide to push for the legalization of their chosen way of life.

The Guardian interviews Tariq Aziz.

Could this be a viable alternative? I smell cow manure, oh wait…

There are throwbacks whose idea of a good time is the beheading of infidels and there are throwbacks whose idea of a swell time differs just a tad.

Texas is #4 in the preseason Coaches’ poll? Methinks that’s a bit high considering it’s a “rebuilding” year…

Photo credit: Touchstone Pictures

Advertisements

Longhorns Go Wild, Steve Young Chimes In

What a summer it’s been for former Longhorn football players…

First, VY lashes out at some fool who makes the singularly stupid mistake of flashing that weakest of all hand signs at him. You know the hand sign that is first cousin to “t.u.”, that weakest of all retorts…

Then, Ced Benson allegedly punches a Sixth Street barkeep, then gets arrested for it a month later. I don’t know the circumstances of the events of that fateful night, but if the Library’s bar tenders were indicative of your average Sixth Street ‘keeps, I don’t know what Benson was thinking.

Finally, there’s Phil’s son who was arrested last night (or this morning) for driving under the influence of marijuana.


“Smoking pot and driving? What’s that if not the result of growing up in a laissez-faire atmosphere?”

I have no idea what has gotten into these UT guys. VY gets some props for not allowing the brand to be besmirched, but then again, it was 3 a.m. at a scrip club.

That’s 3 former Longhorn greats (Phil’s son gets the nod only by association) who have run afoul of the law and it’s only July 1st.

Summer has 2 months left, plenty of time for say, Dusty Mangum to get picked up for breaking and entering.

[Photo credit: ESPN]

Clint Dempsey’s Strike: From Nac-Town with Love

Yesterday morning at the store, I ran into a friend of mine and he asked me what I thought the outcome would be of today’s England-US World Cup showdown. My response? A draw.

Can’t say that I called it because I didn’t predict a score. Even as my prediction rolled off my tongue, I thought about the feasibility of such an outcome and came to the conclusion that even a draw would be a victory for Team USA, given how loaded the English squad is.

While it would be best to leave the tactical analysis of the match to the experten, I cannot help but discuss Clint Dempsey’s equalizer.

Yes, English keeper Robert Green made the type of mistake which should never be made at the World Cup level or any level of soccer save Fun Fair Positive Soccer . However, not enough credit is being given to the Texan Clint Dempsey, the man who presented Green with the opportunity to embarrass himself, his family and his country before a captivated world audience.

Prior to firing the fateful shot, Dempsey had to break free, and he did so by juking English captain, Steven Gerrard, out of his expensive Adidas cleats. Here’s a shot from mid-juke, (Photo by Stuart Franklin/Getty Images)


Es OK Esteven, there are embittered Mexican men in Nac-Town who feel your pain

Judging by the display, one might have thought that Dempsey must have learned these skills from Hakeem Olajuwon who as we can see in Exhibit A below, just abused David Robinson back in the 1995 NBA playoffs.

But no, Dempsey honed these moves in his youth while playing in Nacogdoches’ Mexican League matches. As is reported here, Dempsey,

…beat men more than twice his age, proud men from Mexico and El Salvador who’d throw you to the East Texas dirt for trying a fancy move on them.

And according to one of his childhood friends, one time Dempsey

“did some kind of weird trick—it was so awesome—and the guy got mad and spit in his face.”

Due to the fact that us Mexicans think fútbol is our game and not the Americans’, I can certainly understand the ire of the men he schooled.

It’s hard to swallow when someone beats you at “your own game”, just ask British columnist and America’s Got Talent judge, Piers Morgan who penned this:

I honestly can’t believe we drew with the Americans. Soccer is a complete non-sport in the US. It ranks somewhere below tiddlywinks in their national competitive psyche.

Now, Dempsey might have picked up a huge assist from the wildly unpredictable Jabulani but it is certain that the glorified beach ball had nothing to do with his dissecting of Gerrard.

Major props to Dempsey and the rest of Team USA for their win draw against a tough opponent. I do feel bad for Robert Green but I’d feel worse if he played for Colombia.

Former Aggie Ice Cream Man Stays Alive

I don’t usually dip my pen into the inkwell of state politics, but I suppose it is worth noting that Texas Governor Rick Perry won the GOP nomination for Governor of the Republic of Texas. Perry was a yell leader during his time at Texas A&M during the early 70s.

Yes, fellow Texans that was our Gov nearly 2 score ago.

Gov. Perry handily defeated former Longhorn Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison on an “anti-Washington” platform. Let’s see how the former yell leader stacks up in the race for the Governor’s Mansion against former H-town mayor and UT Law grad Bill White.

I’m not sure how big a role Rick Perry’s secessionist tendencies will play in the campaign but I am sure that Gov. Perry wants us to know that we can tell by the way he moves that he’s a ladies’ man.

Friends are Friends Forever

Artists strive to em, evolve and reinvent themselves while staying true to their roots. Israel Houghton is a worship leader at Lakewood Church as well as a Grammy-winning recording artist.

Personally, I enjoyed his oft-covered hit, “Friend of God”. I don’t keep up with Houghton, don’t know what he’s currently up to but I have a project for him.

In the spirit of Jaime Escalante’s brilliant cover of Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up”, I propose that he do a rewrite of “Friend of God”.

To what? Well, the inspiration sprouted from this press release:

Darwin Stands Tall in Texas!

3 professors from Texas universities have won the coveted “Friend of Darwin” award for:

  • Making “evolution education safe for kids throughout the Republic of Texas”
  • Standing “tall for evolution”
  • Fighting “the good fight for science”

Frankly, they also deserved the Presidential Medal of Freedom for their courage in the face of such “adversity” AND a $25 Starbucks gift card , but I digress.

♫Friends are friends forever, if Charles’ is the Lord of them♫

That’s the inspiration, here’s the result:

I am a friend of Chuck
I am a friend of Chuck
I am a friend of Chuck
He calls me friend!

Really though, I think the NCSE might be better served adopting Pearl Jam’s “Do the Evolution” as the official song (and video) of the “Friend of Darwin” award.

Conservatives Try to Stave Off Invaders

No, not because of a sudden rash of xenophobia but rather because of a sudden bout of sentiments to make Sen. McCarthy proud.

Who are these invaders? Take a look:

Chinese Tallow [photo credit: Aggie horticulture, what did you expect?]

That’s a Chinese tallow tree and for the life of me I can’t imagine why conservatives are campaigning door-to-door to eliminate these trees.

It’s not like the trees are communist are they? Better dead than red?

For the story behind this sordid affair, click here.

Legalism: An Equal Opportunity Employer

Let me preface this by saying that many of my fellow Christian countrymen have no idea what an “evangelical” is or are aware that they fall under this umbrella, but I must use the term for simplicity’s sake.

soup
No booze for you!

For some reasons, it has become endemic for Mexican evangelicals to refuse booze with the battle of cry “Soy Cristiano” [“I’m a Christian”], a proclamation that is received with jeers questioning the sexual orientation of the teetotaler. The implication of the “battle cry” is that one of the marks of the Christian is teetotalism. Of course, that’s not the case. CS Lewis correctly, though not politically, remarks that:

Mohammedanism, not Christianity, is the teetotal religion.

Now, there are Christians who do abstain from alcohol and we have our reasons for it. However to go around telling others to do the same would be legalism. It is equally egregious to make teetotalism a mark of a Christian. Again I must use Lewis’ words here,

One of the marks of a certain type of bad man is that he cannot give up a thing himself without wanting every one else to give it up. That is not the Christian way.

The following story brought all this to mind: “Veiled Muslim woman says Texas shopkeeper turned her away”, why?

Because of the words of the rejected woman: “We’re Muslim; this is the way we dress…”

So does it mean that a Muslim woman who doesn’t cover her face is unchaste? Much like the assertion of certain legalistic Christians that anyone who lets alcohol touch their lips is committing a grave sin?

Legalism is an equal opportunity employer.