Friends are Friends Forever

Artists strive to em, evolve and reinvent themselves while staying true to their roots. Israel Houghton is a worship leader at Lakewood Church as well as a Grammy-winning recording artist.

Personally, I enjoyed his oft-covered hit, “Friend of God”. I don’t keep up with Houghton, don’t know what he’s currently up to but I have a project for him.

In the spirit of Jaime Escalante’s brilliant cover of Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up”, I propose that he do a rewrite of “Friend of God”.

To what? Well, the inspiration sprouted from this press release:

Darwin Stands Tall in Texas!

3 professors from Texas universities have won the coveted “Friend of Darwin” award for:

  • Making “evolution education safe for kids throughout the Republic of Texas”
  • Standing “tall for evolution”
  • Fighting “the good fight for science”

Frankly, they also deserved the Presidential Medal of Freedom for their courage in the face of such “adversity” AND a $25 Starbucks gift card , but I digress.

♫Friends are friends forever, if Charles’ is the Lord of them♫

That’s the inspiration, here’s the result:

I am a friend of Chuck
I am a friend of Chuck
I am a friend of Chuck
He calls me friend!

Really though, I think the NCSE might be better served adopting Pearl Jam’s “Do the Evolution” as the official song (and video) of the “Friend of Darwin” award.

Kindled

Kindled
1: to catch fire
2: to flare up
3: to become animated
4: to become illuminated
5: to get hit so hard by a certain Texas defensive end that you lose your helmet, drop the ball and lose a contact

No need to use it in a sentence when you have a visual:

KindleAP

“Tortillas are best used for tacos” –BJG

This from a good friend of mine in reference to the asinine custom of Texas Tech fans of throwing my native land’s traditional fare onto the field. I guess when your program is tradition-starved you do what you do to generate a certain esprit de corps.

Last Saturday night’s match up between Texas and Texas Tech was hyped up by ABC as a “revenge” game. Revenge against the Red Raiders for crushing the ‘Horns title hopes last season.

Texas did beat Tech 34-24 last Saturday night. However, even if the ‘Horns had blown the Red Raiders out, that still wouldn’t have undone what transpired last year on the High Plains or erased the dull ache that Longhorn Nation feels when recalling those events. I still can’t watch Crabtree’s play without feeling nauseous.

If you want expert analysis of the win, you won’t find it here but you will find it over at Barking Carnival (no one does better than Scipio Tex):

Texas Tech Post Mortem

Just like Earl Thomas and Curtis Brown became part of former Tech receiver Michael Crabtree’s draft reel, now Tech QB Taylor Potts has become a centerpiece in UT defensive end Sergio Kindle’s.

Here’s the video of Mr. Kindle em, kindling Todd Parker, er Taylor Potts,

Never Forget

“Soon we will have revenge.” –Darth Maul

Not trying to piggyback the last post by quoting another George Lucas creation but the Texas-Texas Tech game is tomorrow and it will serve all Longhorns well to stew on the events that transpired the last time these 2 teams met.

If you want video of it you can watch it in this excellent write-up:

Pirate Sundry

While I can’t bring myself to press play on the vid, I can stew by watching a shot of the one-sided Duel of the Fates:

CrabtreeDarren Carroll/SI

Here’s to a dismantling of the Red Raiders tomorrow night before a national audience on ABC.

Hook ’em!

México Actually Wins a Penalty Shootout

Mexican fans you know the routine. In an elimination match, you better hope that El Tri wins in the first 90 minutes or if not then manages to put the match away during the 30 minute overtime, why?

Because as all of us know, Mexican fútbolistas are inept at taking penalty kicks. The memories are many and are painful.

There was the ’86 World Cup quarterfinals when ze Germans bested México 4-1 in a penalty shootout. While it’s easy to blame then Mexican goalie, Pablo Larios, let’s keep in mind that his teammates couldn’t beat the German keeper. [Let’s not even mention Hugo Sanchez’ annulled goal, grrrrrr]

Then there was the ’94 World Cup Round of 16 against Bulgaria. Even though, yes Mexican keeper Jorge Campos (below right) could have better lived up to the hype his ridiculous jersey’s generated, his teammates wilted at the 11-meter dot and couldn’t buy a penalty kick. The Bulgarian keeper was the Germans and my countrymen’s penalty takers were the French.
Jorge Campos

On a lesser scale there was the harrowing loss to the hated Argentines in the 2005 Confederations Cup. In that case, my countrymen made their kicks only to have national team luminary Ricardo Osorio miss a sudden death penalty kick.

My point with all this historical hash is that my countrymen have shown an iniquitous ineptitude to execute penalty kicks and/or block them. What do you expect when your goalies’ height haven’t even come close to 6′? (This is slowly changing)

All that changed last night when my native land’s 11 bested Costa Rica in a penalty shootout in the Gold Cup Semifinal.

The frustrated/jubilant thoughts of a Mexican after the jump…

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Luke Poehlmann wins Babino Award

You ever notice that oftentimes the funniest people aren’t really trying to be funny? They just are. Most of us press a bit too hard in our feeble attempts at making others laugh.

I had a buddy in college, Jay, who is one of the funniest people I know. Yet, to my knowledge, didn’t make it a point to be funny, he just was. Mannerisms, perfectly-timed retorts, impeccable delivery were hallmarks of his comedic genius.

One fine evening, our group of friends was watching a UT game in the dorms. The particular game was against a pre-Leachian Texas Tech squad. The only reason we weren’t at the game was for the simple reason that it took place in Lubbock.

UT ended up winning a close game on a Phil Dawson (now with the Cleveland Browns) 53-yard field goal. During the game, Jay noticed one of the Horns’ backups waving a white towel, not in surrender mind you, but in support of his teammates.

That player was none other than backup linebacker Aaron Babino, who apparently has appeared in NBC’s Friday Night Lights.

Jay, for some reason, singled out Babino for the towel-waving and from that moment on Babino and his white towel were forever enshrined in our minds as the dynamic duo of athletic support.

Fast-forward to last night’s Fiesta Bowl match-up between Ohio State and the Texas Longhorns. Yeah my ‘Horns pulled it out at the end, yes the game was exciting, blah blah blah.

Borrrring. Well at least in comparison to the Babinoesque antics of Longhorn redshirt freshman Luke Poehlmann.

Poehlmann, a 6’7″, 252 lb O-lineman, who sat out his true freshman year, drew an inordinate (or not) amount of attention from Fox cameras for his act (see end of video below).

Congratulations Luke for nabbing the Aaron Babino Towel Waving Award, and perhaps earning at least a part as an extra in the next Dukes of Hazzard movie.

And by the way, thanks for sating cherished Texas stereotypes held by those outside of our great state, and for wresting the “Best Mullet in the Universe sported by a guy named Luke” award from Mark Hamill (below).

luke-skywalker

Bad haircuts, one more jewel on the crown that is the Skywalker legacy

OU’s Punter Gets His Horns Up

OU’s punter and noted thespian Mike Knall was recently photographed in the euphoria that ensued after his team’s dismantling of the Texas Tech Red Raiders.

Given who Knall punts for, one could say he was photographed in a compromising position. Here’s the shot:
hookem

John A. Bowersmith- LUBBOCK AVALANCHE-JOURNAL

Brent Musburger is not a fan of Beyoncé

ABC is set to air the 2008 American Music Awards tomorrow and has been incessantly running promos.

Even during Saturday Night Football, the guys in the booth have to read copy promoting this thing.

Enter 69-year-old Brent Musburger (below doing a heck of a Frankie Carbone impersonation minus the man-perm).

brent-musburger

As he is beginning to tell us about the AMAs, I tell my wife “He probably doesn’t even know who the perfomers are.”

True to form Musburger tells us that one of the performers is “Beyonz”.  Of course, the rest of the world knows “Beyonz” as Houston’s own, Beyoncé Knowles (below):
beyonce

Not only did my wife, myself and millions of other viewers have a good laugh, Musburger’s broadcast partner, Kirk Herbstreit, also had a good laugh but composed himself enough to correct his elder on the correct pronunciation of Beyoncé’s name.

Though Herbie was still too much in the bag not to admit before a national TV audience that he had caught Beyoncé’s act in last week’s Saturday Night Live.

I’m sure the ABC brass will forgive the golden one for dabbling in NBC programming.

As for Musburger, we all know that he’s a big fan of the Big 10 and any team that plays my Texas Longhorns but now we know that he’s not a big Beyoncé guy.

Though thanks to sideline reporter Lisa Salter’s racially awkward comment, we might have found out that Musburger digs Kenny Chesney.

Oh yeah OU thumped Tech, 65-21.

On to Stoolwater, where the fate of a conference will be decided…

Texas Tech 39, Texas 33… Let the Blame Game Begin

Well, not here, not on this blog. Yes, your #1 Texas Longhorns were knocked off their precarious perch tonight by the feisty Texas Tech Red Raiders, but all is not lost.

Yes, I suppose it possible to place blame at the feet of UT’s coaching staff, offensive (and they were that) line, and of course true freshman safety Blake Gideon (below) who dropped a game-clinching interception. Blake, Asante Samuel feels your pain…

Gideon has to feel terrible right now but I hope that Blake understands that everything happens for a reason. He’s going to be a great player at UT, and he needs to shake this off.

We shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that no one in Longhorn Nation (or anywhere else) foresaw the heights to which the Texas Longhorns have climbed to this season.

For consolation, I recommend we all listen to the words of Coach Brown after the ‘Horns beat USC to win the 2005 National Championship:

Again, for expert analysis go to the folks over at Barking Carnival

Jones AT&T Stadium at its Best

The Texas Tech Red Raiders play their unique brand of football at some joint called Jones-AT&T Stadium. The stadium recently flooded and shots were taken.

Seizing the moment, some industrious soul put his Photoshop skills to work:

The pic (from disco tech! via shaggy bevo forums) deliciously cracks on Texas’ opponents, for example:

  • The Manginokrakken about to devour Texas Tech Coach Mike Leach’s pirate ship
  • The Aggie Corps of Cadets guy who forgot that Martika wrote a song about him.
  • Not sure who the flummoxed Aggie with the backward hat is, but the fact that he’s sporting his lid like that is funny enough, as for the bewilderment, that’s par for the course.
  • The Aggie (mid right) who thought that his truck was U-571, straight board shut!
  • Of course the Katrina looter, rocking a skullet of all things, with a Heineken in his back pocket making his alma mater proud is priceless, but…
  • Not nearly as priceless as Big Game (so-called) Bob Stoops about to eat his visor
  • Last, but certainly not least is the standard bearer for this masterpiece, the OU crying kid

And who says we’re not using technology to worthwhile ends?

Texas Tech Says No to “Vick ‘Em”

In no way do I condone what Michael Vick admitted to doing, that is, fighting dogs for “sport” and/or gambling, and brutally killing the dogs that did not perform per Mr. Vick’s standards.

That being said, I think the current flap over a t-shirt being sold in Lubbock in preparation for this Saturday’s game against Texas A&M is a fine example of inconsistent overreaction.

poor-taste.jpg

The shirt is a play on the Texas A&M motto, “Gig ’em” on the front. Seeming how the Aggie mascot is a female collie by the name of Reveille (yes, Texas A&M’s mascot is a female dog), the clear implication of the back of shirt is for the Texas Tech football team to do to the Aggies what Vick might to do Reveille, kill her.

Seeming how the Red Raiders have handled the Aggies the past 2 times they’ve played in Lubbock, the shirt does not seem too far fetched.

According to this story,

Tech officials announced the fraternity that sold the shirts was suspended temporarily and will face judicial review for allegedly violating the solicitation section of the students’ code of conduct. The school said it wouldn’t allow the sale on campus of items that are “derogatory, inflammatory, insensitive, or in such bad taste.”

No more shirts are being produced, the school said in a release.

Look, the shirt is in poor taste no question about it but banning its production?

If the frat that made these shirts makes a shirt showing a Longhorn being barbecued would there be this much outrage from the general public? Would Tech officials ban that shirt? I’m guessing not, because of the way dogs are viewed in this culture as almost-people.

The fact that we choose not to eat dog does not change the FACT that they’re still animals. True, animals which have been entrusted to us by God and therefore not to mistreat, but I think it is endemic in the U.S.A. to (incorrectly) view dogs as people, and unfortunately vice versa.

When I was at Texas, a student organization (can’t remember which) sold shirts prior to the annual Texas-Texas A&M match up. The shirts had “Gag ’em Aggies” on the front with a picture of a Longhorn receiving oral sex from a female Aggie cadet on the back.

I would say this shirt was more offensive than the one pictured above, yet UT administration not only did not lift a finger to prevent the sale of the shirt, it permitted this group to sell it on campus, inside Jester dormitory!