Michael Phelps: Living the Dream

No, not the Olympic Dream. No, not becoming the most highly decorated Olympic athlete.

While all that stuff is admirable and a demonstration of what the human body is capable of (excelling at our self-contrived competitions!) not to mention a great source of pride to Phelps’ mom, that’s not the dream I’m talking about.

Michael Phelps is living the dream of every American (or not) male in the good ‘ol U.S. of A. Eat whatever you want without degenerating into a clone of:

According to this article here is a rundown of Mr. Phelps’ daily diet:
For breakfast:
3 fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise
2 cups of coffee
5 egg omelet
1 bowl of grits
3 slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar
3 chocolate-chip pancakes.

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Alain Bernard: Prognosticator Par Excellence


“The Americans? We’re going to smash them. That’s what we came here for” — French swimmer Alain Bernard (above in happier times)


Oops! Well Mr. Bernard’s (right) prediction didn’t exactly pan out. The American 4x100m swim team took the gold tonight in dramatic fashion: “Phelps collects 2nd gold in relay”.

Bernard joins the ranks of athletes who have bumped their gums prior to competition only to fall flat on their faces and choke in spectacular fashion.

Perhaps none so wonderfully (if you’re American) than Mr. Bernard who anchored the 2nd place French team. The French were comfortably ahead and were poised to win gold when Bernard started the anchor leg of the relay.

What no one was counting on was Mr. Bernard’s able impersonation of an anchor in the last several meters, in conjunction with American Jason Lezak’s inspired finish to secure the gold for the American team.

Alain, my man, you are an excellent swimmer but as far as trash-talking is concerned, you’re what the French call, les incompetent.