Penance

What does penance have to do with a Houston commuter bus? Everything.

You’d think that as a person who commutes daily in one of these bad boys, I’d be exempt from having to prostrate myself before Gaia for sins committed against her.

Wrong. Last week, on the way home, I was one of 2 passengers in one of these buses (they seat 55 passengers). I don’t know what the carbon footprint of such a colossal waste of fuel is (High Priest Al Gore couldn’t be reached) but I’ll utter 250 Hail Gaia’s.

I’ll even throw in an additional 250 for commuting for the wrong reasons. You see, my primary reason for riding the Metro has nothing to do with “saving the planet” and everything to do with saving my aging vehicle and reducing my stress footprint. If this helps “save” the planet, that’s just gravy.

In case you’ve run afoul of Gaia, here is the Hail Gaia so you too can be forgiven for your emissions,

Hail Gaia, who floats in space
Al Gore is with thee.
Verdant art thou for us humans
and verdant are those who recycle
old freezers.
Holy Gaia, Mother of all,
pray for us sinners,
now and when we buy carbon creds.
Amen

Yes, it’s a rendition of an old Catholic prayer but we do it the Vaselines’ way.

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