What To Do “When Creationism Threatens”

Well if you were to ask Antoine Dodson, he’d probably tell you to “hide yo kids, hide yo wives”, but of course the NCSE (National Center for Science Education) simply wants a bit of your personal info.

Here’s a tidbit from one of their mailers:

Incidents of antievolutionary activity often require swift coordinated local action, and the fastest and most efficient way for NCSE to get in touch with its members when creationism threatens is by e-mail.

I wonder if the NCSE has considered implementing their own version of the Department of Homeland Security’s Advisory System (right).

Judging by the paranoia-laced paragraph in their mailer (“antievolutionary activity” etc.), it might not be a bad idea. What does “swift coordinated local action” entail anyway? S.W.A.T. teams armed with copies of PBS’ “Evolution” series?  A burnt offering consisting of creationist material?  A Blackhawk helicopter dispersing hundreds of anti-creationist leaflets over areas afflicted with Biblical literacy?

Then again, after the construction of AiG’s “unsettling” Creation Museum, I’m sure the terror level would perpetually reside in wavelengths greater than approx. 585 nm.

Advisory system or not, every responsible citizen should make sure to report any suspicious “antievolutionary activity” to their nearest public school. That way, they can put you in contact with the NCSE and you can file your report. Constant vigilance!

Pretty soon we’re going to have to redo the old joke: Pentecostals believe there is a demon under every rock, Baptists believe there is a Pentecostal under every rock and the NCSE believes there is a creationist under every rock.

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Friends are Friends Forever

Artists strive to em, evolve and reinvent themselves while staying true to their roots. Israel Houghton is a worship leader at Lakewood Church as well as a Grammy-winning recording artist.

Personally, I enjoyed his oft-covered hit, “Friend of God”. I don’t keep up with Houghton, don’t know what he’s currently up to but I have a project for him.

In the spirit of Jaime Escalante’s brilliant cover of Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up”, I propose that he do a rewrite of “Friend of God”.

To what? Well, the inspiration sprouted from this press release:

Darwin Stands Tall in Texas!

3 professors from Texas universities have won the coveted “Friend of Darwin” award for:

  • Making “evolution education safe for kids throughout the Republic of Texas”
  • Standing “tall for evolution”
  • Fighting “the good fight for science”

Frankly, they also deserved the Presidential Medal of Freedom for their courage in the face of such “adversity” AND a $25 Starbucks gift card , but I digress.

♫Friends are friends forever, if Charles’ is the Lord of them♫

That’s the inspiration, here’s the result:

I am a friend of Chuck
I am a friend of Chuck
I am a friend of Chuck
He calls me friend!

Really though, I think the NCSE might be better served adopting Pearl Jam’s “Do the Evolution” as the official song (and video) of the “Friend of Darwin” award.