A Metro Commuter’s Final Fantasy

metro

Yours truly rides to work in one of these beasts every day. I would like to sit here and pontificate that it’s all for mother Gaia blah blah blah, but it’s not. Sure it’s a nice side effect that I’m not contributing an infinitesimally small amount of pollution to an already hazy Houston skyline, but the main reason I take public transportation to work is to avoid the morass that is Houston traffic.

For this I’m thankful.

This being said, getting into one of these rigs every day has certain disadvantages. One such drawback is having to listen to fellow riders share their most intimate details as they carelessly yak away on their cell phones.

From the tool that shared his secrets on how to lure the ladies into his lecherous lair, to the dear woman who just had to inform her husband (and us all) that she wasn’t going to give him her paycheck. (Girl power!)

To the party girl who thought that sharing her story of her nude adventures with her sister-in-law would add a little sizzle to our otherwise worthless lives. I could do a whole post on the things overheard in fellow riders’ cellphone conversations, but I won’t.

Well there is that guy who calls his entire Contacts list until he settles on someone who is just as bored as he is. By such time, the rest of us are ready to chuck him out the window.

Don’t think for a second that while enduring one of these chats I have not fantasized about owning one of those cell phone jammer things and letting it loose on these public offenders.

Yeah, I know that they’re illegal and that their use carries hefty penalties.

According to this story, “Police put in tight Jam: Cellphone jammers might silence annoying public chat, but they also risk officers’ safety”, the FCC will dock you $11K if you get caught the first time.

Judging by the following bit from the story, I’m not the only who has these fantasies,

Hand-held jammers, which are easily purchased online for about $200, are becoming increasingly common in the U.S., where people are eager to silence chatty public transit users.

Nice to know that you’re not alone…

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Purge

I understand this word means different things to different people (How cool is the one-word title? Rob Bell would be so proud).

There is of course the practice of eating and vomiting so as to meet some twisted aesthetic societal standard.

You have this type of purge, nothing more needs to be said.

Iosef Vissarionovich Stalin had his own purge in which he ordered the arrest and imprisonment of millions of his own countrymen, executing hundreds of thousands of these people. Ol’ Joe made a heck of a Russian, too bad he was Georgian.

There is the Great Jedi Purge in which Emperor Palpatine and his henchman Darth Vader (below) systematically sought to exterminate the Jedi from the face of that ancient and faraway galaxy.

What is this Galaxy coming to?

As for yours truly, the only purges that touch my life with any frequency are my wife’s thorough “stuff purges”.

Fellows, if you have an office/workspace at home it might be a frightful mess but at least you know where everything is at. Then along comes your industrious wife to tidy everything up, but in reality has messed up the perfectly sane disaster you call a desk.

My wife purges everything by exiling whatever is in plain sight to the nether regions of our house. For the last week or so, I’ve been looking for In Your Honor by Foo Fighters (below).

Last time I saw this great album was on our office desk and suffice it to say it is now gone (thankfully all the songs are in the iPod). I don’t know its whereabouts but I do know that I will not see this album until we move.

Polygamy

Often this topic is posed to proponents of gay “marriage”. The issue is posed by people (like me) who understand that once marriage is re-defined to whatever fallen humanity wants it to mean, then in the words of Kevin Garnett, “Anything is possible!”.

People marrying their pets, their siblings, their PS3’s, why not?

ABC’s John Stossel, one of the resident libertarians over at Townhall, wrote a piece on polygamy:
How Many Wives Is Too Many?

He interviews polygamists (no, they’re not Mormons) who are upset that this way of life they prefer is illegal here in the States. For example, polygamy activist Mark Henkel is quoted as saying,

Someone like a Hugh Hefner will have a successful television show with three live-in girlfriends! And that’s all OK, and he’s making great money, and that’s all fine and great entertainment. But suddenly, if that man was to marry them, then suddenly he’s a criminal. That’s insane!

Does he have a point? Now, Christians will object on Biblical grounds but Henkel has something for “religious leaders” as well,

If they’re saying that’s immoral, they’re calling the greatest heroes in the Bible … immoral! … Saying that Abraham, with his three wives, was immoral. Jacob had four wives. David had seven known named wives before Bathsheba.

Of course, Henkel is mistakenly assuming that God approved of these men’s deviation from His plan: one man, one woman.

Stossel’s column brings up several questions:

  • Why is polygamy still illegal?
  • Should it be legalized so long as it takes place between consenting adults?
  • Why doesn’t the media warm up to it as they do towards gay “marriage”?
  • Would it help if gay polygamy was thrown in?

There is no Such Thing as Gay Marriage

Yes the courts and the lobbies that bought them off can shove the concept of gay “marriage” down our collective throats and even if perhaps in the not so distant future they will, in Orwellian fashion, force resistant churches to “marry” homosexuals, the union will still not be (it cannot be) marriage.

One man, one woman. I know it’s not difficult to understand, but it can be difficult to accept for fallen creatures hellbent (no pun intended) on defying the statutes of their Maker.

That humans have twisted and spat on God’s design through divorce, broken homes and the like is an even greater testament to man’s natural enmity towards God but it is not an excuse to try to label unions that aren’t marriage as such.

It’s not marriage plain and simple and no amount of forced indoctrination can change reality. As Pat Buchanan remarked in his latest column,

To say two men who live together and engage in sex can be married renders the idea and ideal of marriage meaningless. The court may declare it, but it cannot redefine an institution that nature and nature’s God have already defined. As they say in Texas, you can put lipstick and earrings on a pig, and call her Peggy Sue, but it’s still a pig.

Click here to read Mr. Buchanan’s column.

Super Mario Cake takes the em, Cake…

My wife, with the limited time she has, has made some wonderful cakes which have been not only aesthetically pleasing but very kind to the palate. Here’s an example,

I really believe that if my wife dedicated herself solely to cake-making she could replicate or even create a masterpiece such as this,

H/t: Geekologie (check out more pics of this cake here)