Lawsuits Need Sponsors Like the Planet Needs Saving

Why not? NASCAR cars are covered with sponsor stickers. For a cool $15 mill or so you can take the place of honor on the car’s hood.

AIG is paying nearly that much per year so their logo can flit around the pitch on 11 shirts every time Manchester United plays.

It’s high time that lawsuits, bastions of American democracy that they are, also be beneficiaries of lucrative sponsor money.

For example, Erin Brockovich’s suit against Pacific Gas and Electric could have been brought to us by Maidenform or Wonderbra. At least that’s the direction the movie (starring Julia Roberts) seemed to steer us toward.

Photo credit:  © 2000 – Universal Pictures, Inc.

A group of Hurricane Katrina survivors are suing Shell, ExxonMobile, BP and Chevron, among others for emitting greenhouse gases and thus supposedly “helping fuel global warming” and “boosting” said hurricane.

The sponsor for this suit should be the “weather is not climate” crowd who seizes upon every opportunity to point out that a heat wave or a particularly devastating hurricane is the result of anthropogenic global warming.

Yet, when the East Coast experiences severe blizzards and record snowfall, their Orwellian chant, “Weather and climate are not the same thing, two legs bad!” can be heard emanating from the lofty spires of their world of make-believe.

A world replete with flowers and bells and leprechauns. And magic frogs with funny little hats who cavort with Al “the magical man” Gore from Happy Land who lives carbon neutrally in a gumdrop house on lollipop lane.

Can’t have it both ways, hopefully the judge overseeing the Katrina lawsuit recognizes that.

What’s next, Haitians suing the Copenhagen summit for their inaction causing the earthquake that ravaged their nation?

Smithers, Release the Hounds

The execution of Mr. Burns’ (right) famous command spells certain doom to any interloper foolishly attempting to storm his palatial estate.

Especially when said interloper is one Homer J. Simpson.

However I don’t think that Mr. Burns’ hounds would be very intimidating to the deer in the following story:

Pictured: The orphan deer adopted by a pack of bloodthirsty fox hounds

From the story,
The pack immediately accepted the lost fallow deer when they found him shivering by the Thompsons’ front gate just an hour after he had been born.

Rather than being overwhelmed by the attention of such a large pack of dogs, from the Chiddingfold, Leconfield and Cowdray hunt, the confused little fawn thought he’d found his family.
Here’s a pic of the honorary hound,

One only hopes that the hounds don’t come to their “senses” and rip the poor deer to shreds.