Texans Drop a Deuce on Opening Day

[Disclaimer: Yes I know it is only one game]

Well technically since the mascot is a bull, I guess they dropped a cow patty.

Boy, what a pathetic excuse for an NFL team the Houston Texans have been in the 8 years of their miserable existence. It seems that year in, year out we see the same story played out here in H-town. This is from last year’s opener:

The Texans Train Wreck Begins…

Every off-season the local sports radio crowd, especially on Sportsradio 610, do their best to hype up the Texans. Couldn’t be because they’re the official radio home of the Texans, could it? Nah…

Most, if not all, of the hosts have the Texans in the playoffs. To quote the always personable Jim Mora, “Playoffs?!?” In all fairness that could still happen, but hard to see with the way the team threw up all over themselves yesterday.

Every year, most of the “long-time” Texans fans in our fair city get their hopes up only to have them come crashing down in a most spectacular manner after witnessing the season opener.

Leading the idealistic charge are the grown men who paint their mugs like so many clowns and make spectacles of themselves at Reliant Stadium, as chronicled here and here:

Texans Fan

Karren Warren – Houston Chronicle

Last year it was the Steelers, yesterday it was the New York Jets, who oh by the way trotted out a rookie starting quarterback, who for now, dashed the dreams of a frustrated fan base, which actually booed the Texans during the game yesterday.

As I did last year, I’ll leave the commentary to the local experten.

One thing begs to be pointed out, it’s not that the Texans lose but how they lose and that for the past 8 years, they’ve lost for the same reasons: jittery QB play, a timidity to rushing the opposing QB and last but certainly not least, an offensive line that is allergic to protecting the quarterback.

The latter was in plain view yesterday, especially when Jets’ Nose Tackle Kris Jenkins shoved aside Texans’ center Chris Myers as if he were filled with straw.

I don’t know, maybe we all should have seen yesterday’s joke of a game coming, given what happened the day before to the mascot of the University of Virginia. The same university Texans QB Matt Schaub attended.

Matt Schaub

Karren Warren – Houston Chronicle

The position Schaub assumed above was also assumed by his alma mater’s mascot, “CavMan”, after the latter was literally thrown off his horse. Here’s the vid:

Here’s to another grand season from your Houston Texans!

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An NFL Orphan’s Heart Flutters

As previously posted, yours truly is an NFL orphan. Why? Well in brief, the NFL team of my childhood and formative years, the Houston Oilers, packed up and left and became the Tennessee Titans.

This past Sunday, the local extant NFL franchise, the Houston Texans matched up against the extinct one, the Titans, at Reliant Stadium.

Strangely enough, the Texans beat the Titans at their own game (smashmouth football and defense) and pulled one out, but even stranger was the fact that I found myself rooting for the Texans.

I’m not sure if I’m ready to pledge the half-hearted allegiance I have to the Titans to Houston’s current team, but the inspired play of the Texans at least proved that this is not outside the realm of possibility.

The fact that our son, in all likelihood, will grow up a Texans fan will no doubt bury my attachment to the Titans, that and the classless and toolish comments made by a couple of sore loser Titan players after the game:

”They weren’t doing that well, but it was their Super Bowl and credit them for being the good team today” –Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan

”It’s a big win for them as an organization, (but) no matter what they do, they’ll still go home (during the) playoffs. We have a lot to look forward to.” — Titans running back LenDale White

Far easier to root for guys like Texan Wide Receiver Andre Johnson who have all the talent in the world and remain humble in victory and defeat.

Here’s a shot of Johnson scoring the game’s only touchdown,

andre-johnson

Brett Coomer: Houston Chronicle

Houston Texans Continue Winning Tradition

Instead of delving into an in depth analysis of the Houston Texans’ seemingly bottomless ability to invent new ways to lose ballgames, I instead present this picture taken by Houston Chronicle photog, Brett Coomer,

Hope it was worth it for these two “long time” Texans fans.

That’s why the Texans lost, the guy on the right wore the Battle Red jersey on Deep Steel Blue Day!

By the way, the sans VY Titans are now 5-0, as Bud Adams laughs from the lofty spires of Barad-dûr

Brady Quinn Will Be “Ready”

I don’t like Notre Dame, never have and probably never will. This dislike was aggravated when they beat my Longhorns in consecutive years while I was a student there. I was there for the second one (1996) and the ‘Horns almost pulled it out but the golden aura overcame them.

To be fair, the dislike is attenuated every time I watch Rudy, hey nobody is perfect.

The national media hypes up this program everytime they have a winning record, and that hype extends to Irish players. I know there have been great Irish players that have parlayed their success in the NFL.

But for every Montana, or Theismann you have a Mirer or a Powlus. As for the most recently hyped up Irish signal caller, Brady Quinn, the jury is still out as to his NFL viability. With the Cleveland Browns, he’s had to sit behind surprise starter QB Derek Anderson who came alive last season.

Enter this season, Anderson finds himself struggling and while, Head Coach Romeo Crennel recently asserted as ,

Anderson is the starter and [Brady] Quinn will be ready.

Does this mean that Anderson is on a short leash? That Quinn will get the call at the first sign of Anderson going Matt Schaub?

Not that reflecting on Cleveland Browns football occupies a significant portion of my time (waking or otherwise), but I do hope that Brady Quinn gets the opportunity to justify the existence of this ridiculous shirt:


Truth be told this shirt is the reason for this post and truth be told, I don’t think anything Brady Quinn does can or will ever justify this shirt. So, where can I get one?

Do We All Owe Merrill Hoge an Apology?

The Vince Young saga has been a hot topic here in Houston sports radio. To be honest, VY has been a topic since the Houston Texans decided not to draft the local product. That decision seems to have been the wise one given the fact that right now, Mario Williams seems to be a better NFL player.

I still think the Texans should have nabbed Young, but I say that as a myopic (literally) and unashamed Longhorn honk (that would have made me an instant Texans fan, to this day I refuse to drink the battle red Kool-Aid).

Right now, not only does VY not look like an NFL quarterback on the field, he is beginning to carry that off the field (he’s acting like a wide receiver there but that’s another topic).

It’s not a good sign when a grown man’s mom basically tells the media to back off her “baby boy” and starts throwing words around like “persecute”.

Heck, I’m waiting for Coach Fisher to go off on a Gundyian rant (“Come after me, I’m a man, I’m 50!”) Fisher would first put on a tutu and try out for the Kirov Ballet before doing that.

Lost in all this, has anyone asked a seemingly prophetic Merrill Hoge (below) about Vince Young lately? Remember Hoge took some major heat (especially from this knucklehead) during Young’s first NFL season for speaking disparagingly about Vince’s NFL potential.

“I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so”

[Insert joke about Titans hiding quarterbacks here]

Also lost in all this, is the inability of former stud offensive Longhorns football players (Ricky Williams, Cedric Benson, Kwame Cavil and now VY) to adjust to NFL life.

Is Mack a better master coddler than master recruiter? Hey, speaking of former Longhorns, how about LSU-killer Chris Simms and VY on the same team? What? They couldn’t give noted Red Raider Slayer Chance Mock a shot?

The Texans Train Wreck Begins…

[Disclaimer: I know it’s only one game]

Pittsburgh Steelers 38, Houston Texans 17

Boy that game was ugly. One got the sense it was over on the first drive, after Coach Kubiak went for it on 4th and inches and fell short.

I’ll leave the in-depth analysis for the local experten but here are some thoughts from an NFL Orphan (Go Oilers!):

  • Houston still has an expansion football team
  • I thought David Carr was no longer with the Texans, so why was he out there wearing the #8 jersey? Oh, that was Matt Schaub? Could have fooled me…
  • Coach Kubiak, learn from Mack Brown’s mishandling of the Applewhite-Simms controversy: Play the guy that looks like Opie gives you the best chance to win (in your case backup QB Sage Rosenfels) and not the big money guy
  • Mario Williams (below, doing his best Ben Roethlisberger’s cape impersonation) seems to be for real (6 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 forced fumble), demonstrating that the GM who loved him might have been right all along. My apologies Charlie, I always knew you made the right pick.

Brett Coomer, Houston Chronicle

    The Rant of an NFL Orphan

    The NFL season is just around the corner and for many pro football aficionados it is a joyous occasion, it’s hard for this football fan to get too excited. Why?

    I grew up in Houston and rooted passionately for the Oilers until Bud Adams uprooted them in 1996 and relocated the team to Tennessee. After my 4 years at Texas, the source of my football jones became my Longhorns.

    Yes, the NFL came back to Houston in ’02 in the form of the Texans but it isn’t the same. It’s hard to have loyalty for a team which was founded during one’s adult years.

    I certainly don’t wish the team ill, but it is difficult for me to get behind this team despite the seemingly faux enthusiasm of the “longtime” Texans fans here.

    It’s blasphemous to say in this Texans’ town but it is far easier to root for the former Oilers, the Tennessee Titans. Especially since they have noted UT legend Vince Young.

    As an NFL Orphan this is what I’m reduced to, cheering for individual players. For example Kurt Warner (Arizona Cardinals) for his character and unwavering faith, Tom Brady (New England) for his on-the-field greatness, Peyton Manning (Colts) for his dedication to his craft, Maurice Jones-Drew (Jaguars) for playing against the odds.

    It’s almost like I’m reduced to a variant of Visa’s lame Olympics motto: Go World!