One Simple Way to Save the Planet: Keep It Zipped

Al Gore’s dalliances are not really the American public’s concern. Captain Planet is no longer a high-ranking public “$ervant” so his alleged lack of judgment does not compromise national security in any way. Though, it may have dire global consequences as we will see shortly.

The matter is between him and Tipper, and judging by their split, it looks like she knew something was going on, but that’s between them.

Recently, Portland police released the lurid details of what transpired between a masseuse and the Cassandra of our times.

I won’t go into them here because quite frankly I don’t care about the details, but if you do you can check it out here:

Sex complaint against Gore is detailed, credible

It is interesting that some of the major media players have stayed mostly mum on this. In fact, looking at the front pages of the sites of some of the big boys like ABC, CBS, Huffington Post, CNN and MSNBC this morning, nary a mention of what the police report said.

This is a tired song but it bears repeating, one wonders if Gore had been a GOP fixture, would the masseuse’s report been a major front page news item on these sites? Would the graphic details (a la “wide stance”) been emblazoned for all to see and snicker at?

Of course, but this is the modus operandi of these outlet’s and there’s nothing wrong with that, you’re supposed to take care of your own, especially when they screw up, right? What are chums for? Besides he gave us the “Internets”, right Dubya? Which without, we would have never had “Twitters”, right Barry?


A profit for our time

Make no mistake about it, these outlets (particularly ABC’s GMA) have been beating Mr. Gore’s drum on our planet’s pyrogenic condition for year$ now. They’re not about to undermine the apocalyptic religion that is anthropogenic global warming (and the whole “green” journalism wing$ it has created for them) by reporting on its chief prophet’s extracurricular activities.

Which brings us to an interesting tidbit in the police report. After the alleged encounter between the masseuse and Gore, the woman told her friends about it. Her friends, “liberals like herself”,

…advised against telling police. One asked her “to just suck it up; otherwise, the world’s going to be destroyed from global warming.”

While I’m not going to go as far as Michael Savage and proclaim that “liberalism is a mental disorder” (it’s not), it’s incredulous that her “liberal” friends truly believed that what stands between annihilation and our continuing existence on planet Earth was Al Gore’s reputation as a husband who keeps the 7th commandment.

To quote one of my son’s DVDs, “All I can is, ‘Wow'”

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Green Power Ranger Fights For Jesus Not Al Gore

The phenomenon that was the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers came on the scene too late in my life for me to bite into and enjoy its cheesy and goofy goodness. Never understood the concept of the show, though I may or may not have had a thing for the Pink Power Ranger, too bad she only had eyes for the Green Power Ranger.

Speaking of which, the man who played the GPR, Jason David Frank, is an MMA fighter. I’m sure that to Mr. Frank, MMA fighters must seem like chopped liver compared to the giant invertebrates he had to tussle with when with the MMPRs.

Frank is also a Christian and has meshed the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints with his chosen profession. The Houston Chronicle did a piece on him:

Jesus as the ultimate ultimate fighter

I get what he’s trying to do and to some degree it is commendable but resorting to slogans such as “Putting the Jew in jiu jitsu” is unfortunate.

With a nod to another mid 90s staple, Animaniacs, is the message of this karate studio a good idea or bad idea?

Speaking of 90s staples we all know that though the GPR might not fight for Al Gore, these guys would chomp at the bit:

Though I’m sure they’re also wondering why Mr. Gore has been strangely silent about the mess in the Gulf.

Penance

What does penance have to do with a Houston commuter bus? Everything.

You’d think that as a person who commutes daily in one of these bad boys, I’d be exempt from having to prostrate myself before Gaia for sins committed against her.

Wrong. Last week, on the way home, I was one of 2 passengers in one of these buses (they seat 55 passengers). I don’t know what the carbon footprint of such a colossal waste of fuel is (High Priest Al Gore couldn’t be reached) but I’ll utter 250 Hail Gaia’s.

I’ll even throw in an additional 250 for commuting for the wrong reasons. You see, my primary reason for riding the Metro has nothing to do with “saving the planet” and everything to do with saving my aging vehicle and reducing my stress footprint. If this helps “save” the planet, that’s just gravy.

In case you’ve run afoul of Gaia, here is the Hail Gaia so you too can be forgiven for your emissions,

Hail Gaia, who floats in space
Al Gore is with thee.
Verdant art thou for us humans
and verdant are those who recycle
old freezers.
Holy Gaia, Mother of all,
pray for us sinners,
now and when we buy carbon creds.
Amen

Yes, it’s a rendition of an old Catholic prayer but we do it the Vaselines’ way.

God Sends Snow To Houston

“God thunders with His voice wondrously,
Doing great things which we cannot comprehend.
“For to the snow He says, ‘Fall on the earth…’ – Job 37:5-6

The snowfall that brought the Bayou City to a standstill (we all stopped and stared with incredulity) today was not of biblical proportions.

Nor was it enough to inspire Thomas Kinkade to paint another St. Nicholas’ Circle,
thomaskinkade

Yet it was pretty exciting to see snow falling from the heavens.

According to this story, this only marks the second time in the last 113 years that H-town gets snow this early (the other being on Dec. 10, 1944).

Imagine what would happen if humans weren’t contributing to global warming.

The possibilities are em, chilling indeed.

A Metro Commuter’s Final Fantasy

metro

Yours truly rides to work in one of these beasts every day. I would like to sit here and pontificate that it’s all for mother Gaia blah blah blah, but it’s not. Sure it’s a nice side effect that I’m not contributing an infinitesimally small amount of pollution to an already hazy Houston skyline, but the main reason I take public transportation to work is to avoid the morass that is Houston traffic.

For this I’m thankful.

This being said, getting into one of these rigs every day has certain disadvantages. One such drawback is having to listen to fellow riders share their most intimate details as they carelessly yak away on their cell phones.

From the tool that shared his secrets on how to lure the ladies into his lecherous lair, to the dear woman who just had to inform her husband (and us all) that she wasn’t going to give him her paycheck. (Girl power!)

To the party girl who thought that sharing her story of her nude adventures with her sister-in-law would add a little sizzle to our otherwise worthless lives. I could do a whole post on the things overheard in fellow riders’ cellphone conversations, but I won’t.

Well there is that guy who calls his entire Contacts list until he settles on someone who is just as bored as he is. By such time, the rest of us are ready to chuck him out the window.

Don’t think for a second that while enduring one of these chats I have not fantasized about owning one of those cell phone jammer things and letting it loose on these public offenders.

Yeah, I know that they’re illegal and that their use carries hefty penalties.

According to this story, “Police put in tight Jam: Cellphone jammers might silence annoying public chat, but they also risk officers’ safety”, the FCC will dock you $11K if you get caught the first time.

Judging by the following bit from the story, I’m not the only who has these fantasies,

Hand-held jammers, which are easily purchased online for about $200, are becoming increasingly common in the U.S., where people are eager to silence chatty public transit users.

Nice to know that you’re not alone…

DNC: What’s the Damage?

So the DNC has come and gone. Promises were made by the candidates, whether or not they will come to pass remains to be seen. Whether or not the promises were nothing more than grandstanding, well only God knows.

Prior to what has to be one of the world’s largest pep rallies, the Democratic Party leadership made a promise of its own: to make the upcoming convention “the greenest convention in the history of the planet.” (See, “The DNC: It’s not easy being Green…”)

Well, ran across a piece which recounts the damage:
Democrats find ‘green’ political convention tough to enforce

They tried and tried mightily but the author concludes:

Let us stipulate that the Democratic Party, perhaps because it was good marketing or perhaps because it was a sound principle, made an effort to promote recycling here. But whopping huge mounds of trash remain unavoidable–and the presence of idling SUVs–show that the concept remains more of a slogan than reality. (Then again, probably the only way to hold a “green” convention is to do it entirely over the Internet.)

As for me, I’m just wondering how many of the attendees can echo Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s (below) famous pronouncement: “You know, I keeps a private jet”

While it is not easy being green, it is easy to be Money May.

Devolution

It was legendary writer GK Chesterton who observed that the doctrine of original sin is “the only part of Christian theology which can be really proved.”

A casual glance at newspapers, news sites etc. will bear out the fact that human beings, despite technological advances and other such things, continue to demonstrate their ability to cause each other great harm.

In his book, The Battle for the Beginning, John MacArthur refers to the human condition as a devolution. I’ve heard it said that humanity is the way it is because we haven’t gotten there yet, we aren’t sufficiently evolved.

Some even say the animals are farther along because they don’t hurt each other to the degree we hurt ourselves (the fact that a higher creature has a greater capacity for good and evil is strangely ignored)

Johnny Mac says this in his book,

Deliverance from this state [the human condition, a fallen state] will not come from any process of evolution, either. In fact, the whole creation-including the human race-is now subject to a kind of devolution, which no amount of education, enlightenment, environmentalism, psychology, civilization, or technology will ever be able to reverse. What is needed is redemption.

What is curious to me is how the folks who most aggressively reject the Christian explanation for the human condition and thus God’s cure for it (redemption through His Son Jesus Christ), are the folks who have a different sort of faith though they ridicule so-called people of faith.

One could even say their faith is a blind faith, one that naively holds that social programs will somehow change human nature or a continuous reiteration of the so-called “golden rule” will somehow keep us from what comes naturally.

As CS Lewis commented,

What is the good of drawing up, on paper, rules for social behaviour, if we know that, in fact, our greed, cowardice, ill temper, and self-conceit are going to prevent us from keeping them?