What To Do “When Creationism Threatens”

Well if you were to ask Antoine Dodson, he’d probably tell you to “hide yo kids, hide yo wives”, but of course the NCSE (National Center for Science Education) simply wants a bit of your personal info.

Here’s a tidbit from one of their mailers:

Incidents of antievolutionary activity often require swift coordinated local action, and the fastest and most efficient way for NCSE to get in touch with its members when creationism threatens is by e-mail.

I wonder if the NCSE has considered implementing their own version of the Department of Homeland Security’s Advisory System (right).

Judging by the paranoia-laced paragraph in their mailer (“antievolutionary activity” etc.), it might not be a bad idea. What does “swift coordinated local action” entail anyway? S.W.A.T. teams armed with copies of PBS’ “Evolution” series?  A burnt offering consisting of creationist material?  A Blackhawk helicopter dispersing hundreds of anti-creationist leaflets over areas afflicted with Biblical literacy?

Then again, after the construction of AiG’s “unsettling” Creation Museum, I’m sure the terror level would perpetually reside in wavelengths greater than approx. 585 nm.

Advisory system or not, every responsible citizen should make sure to report any suspicious “antievolutionary activity” to their nearest public school. That way, they can put you in contact with the NCSE and you can file your report. Constant vigilance!

Pretty soon we’re going to have to redo the old joke: Pentecostals believe there is a demon under every rock, Baptists believe there is a Pentecostal under every rock and the NCSE believes there is a creationist under every rock.

Confessions Of An Edward Teamster

Disclaimer: This post is written by someone who has had an unnaturally obsession with the most popular products of George Lucas’ mind and as a result knows more about that ancient and distant galaxy than anyone outside of Skywalker Ranch has any business knowing.

Straight up, I have never read or watched anything from the Twilight franchise. Therefore I am singularly unqualified to critique the merits of said franchise. I do know that the young people eat this stuff up as if the antidote was in it.

Based on the few interactions I’ve had with the Twilight, it seems to be a love story about a whiny vampire and the even whinier heroine who loves him. A saga so shiny and happy that it makes Sylvia Plath’s work read like the complete and unabridged works of Barney the Dinosaur. (right)

But in this story, there is a wrinkle in the form a fellow who doesn’t seem so whiny, a ripped werewolf who in a past life constituted one half of the dynamic duo that was Shark Boy and Lava Girl.

Our whiny heroine can’t decide between the whiny vampire or the heavy-browed werewolf or as this writer put it,

Bella must choose between Ed the Undead and Jake the Pecs, a decision that seems to be, if you think about it, a straightforward choice between necrophilia and bestiality.

And you’ll never see this love story the same way ever again…

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Brazilian Tomfoolery

No, I’m not talking about Luís Fabiano’s blatant double handball against Ivory Coast.

Speaking of Luís, he single-handedly almost derailed my rooting interest in the Verde-Amarela with his French-inspired antics but I digress.

No, the aforementioned tomfoolery involves actor Tom Cruise who was in Rio at the Brazilian premiere of his latest offering, Knight and Day.

It is well-documented that Maverick (at 5’7″) is considered short. I disagree, though that might have something to do with the fact that height is probably the only thing Mav and I have in common.

The generous people of Brazil gave Cruise a jersey, here’s the pic:

They even gave him the #10, reserved for the best player in a squad, but one wonders if the Last Samurai knows that Tomzinho means “Little Tom” in Portuguese.

Gotta love the Brazilians’ sense of humor.

Americans Haunted By A Phantom Call

Major, major props to Team USA for not succumbing to despair after falling behind 0-2 against a surprising Slovenian squad, that apparently holds Chuck Brown in no small amount of reverence. The fact that America’s team equalized in the second half is a testament to the grit and can-do attitude that fueled the establishment and growth of this great nation.

Of course, it was lackadaisical marking and a flaccid attack that put them in the early hole and to be sure that will surely be addressed by head coach Bob Bradley. Resiliency is a trademark of a team that can make a deep run in this, the greatest of all sporting events, and the American proved that they have just that.

The story of this match should have been that, a scrappy American squad falls behind early only to come roaring back in the second half to tie, then in the closing minutes to win on a Maurice Edu strike off a set piece. But nooooo…

Instead, the story of the match is head referee Koman Coulibaly from Mali who made an atrocious call that nullfied Edu’s potential game-winner. Coulibaly called Michael Bradley offside on the play despite not being in a position to make such a call. You see, that call typically goes to one of the linesmen who has a better angle on it. What makes this especially frustrating is that no one knew what the nullifying call was.

Even before making up this offside, this ref had shown a remarkable ability to make a buffoon of himself. He gave US forward Robbie Findley a yellow card for a handball. Fine and good, except that the ball hit Findley in the face. I don’t know maybe in Mali a hand is a face and a face is a hand, who knows?

I do know that this may sound condescending but what the hell is a man from Mali (FIFA Rank: 54) doing officiating a contest on this, the grandest of stages? What’s more, why is the Saudi ref (KSA’s FIFA Rank: 66) who clumsily presided over the México-France match also afforded the opportunity on this stage? Yes, I know that not all refs from low ranking FIFA members are laughably incompetent, but I’m beginning to sense a pattern and I’m not the only one.

In my opinion, the best football/fútbol is played in Europe and in Latin America so why not fill the World Cup referee pool overflowing with the best men from the leagues therein?

Mr. Coulibaly showed that he has no business presiding over a juice box-ridden and orange slice-infested FFPS lovefest much less a World Cup match.

All that said, here are some thoughts on what transpired:

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A Mexican’s World Cup Primer

No, it has nothing to do with Tequila shots or other such truck but rather a historical retrospective.

Mexicans get soccer fed to us in our baby bottles

I made this statement to an American friend a couple of years ago. Many will say that it is a generalization and perhaps be insulted by it. A Mexican-American chap who heard it certainly was and let it be known just how offended he was. The fact that he neither was born and spent most of his childhood living in México made his overreaction a little bit less credible.

My native land hosted the 1986 World Cup and I remember it vividly. Anyone remember the borderline offensive mascot, Pique?

[found the pic at:  http://degenerasian.blogspot.com/]

The memories are bittersweet because while Manuel Negrete’s strike made an indelible impression on my mind, the loss against ze Germans in the quarterfinals broke my young Tri-loving heart.

Over the years, we moved to America and my interest in soccer waned as it had to compete with American football, baseball and basketball. Yet every four years I was drawn to the world’s biggest sporting event, The World Cup. I have soaked in every WC since ’86, and followed especially close those in which my beloved Tri took part of. (All of them since ’86 except for Italy ’90).

I pined in ’94 to go watch them live but alas it was not to be. We are but 2 weeks away from the start of South Africa 2010 and like many of my compatriots living in all corners of the world, I am giddy with excitement.

Yet this anticipation is tempered by the ghost of México in World Cups past. Like many Mexicans I take a hopeful pessimism approach into each World Cup. Yes, the squad is a solid one with great potential but let us not set our sights too high.  Otherwise we will be disappointed if El Tri comes crashing down like cadet Juan Escutia at the Battle of Chapultepec.

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SB 1070 visits the Recent White House State Dinner

According to Forbes, Mexican business magnate Carlos Slim is worth $53.5 billion, making him the world’s richest person by em, a slim margin over American Bill Gates.

Slim, son of Lebanese immigrants, made his fortune in telecommunications. Recently, (e)Slim (below) was present at the State Dinner held at the White House in honor of Mexican President Felipe Calderón.


[Photo credit: Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images North America]

What I find interesting is that Slim is wearing some sort of ID badge. In looking at pictures of other luminaries present at this shindig (i.e. comedian George Lopez and actress Eva Longoria-Parker), you’ll find that they’re not wearing badges.

Everyone knows who George Lopez and Eva Longoria-Parker are, Slim? Not so much, hence he has to rock a badge. That’s probably the reason, not to mention his complexion, that White House security might be “reasonably suspicious” that Carlos is the “help” who is trying to mingle with the VIPs.

Might it show that even the world’s richest man isn’t immune to being SB1070′d?

I guess the cowardly Mr. Lopez and the bubbly Longoria-Parker are living proof that it is better to be famous than stupefyingly wealthy.

Men Lie More Than Women but…

Being in research, I understand that things have to be looked into, checked, double-checked and researched again to get a clear picture of what’s going on in whatever niche of creation we’re looking into. ‘Course, confirming one’s hypothesis doesn’t hurt either.

A study, well a poll, was conducted and its results have recently been revealed.

The aim of the study was to find out which sex lies the most. The poll found that it is men who lie the most. Well, let’s hang a big ol’ “DUH!” on that one. I don’t now who funded the study or how many days/months/years of research went into it but I could have told you that.

In fact, if the people who commissioned the study would have bothered to watch Chris Rock’s 1999 show, “Bigger and Blacker”, he could have told you that, the pertinent excerpt,

Who are the biggest liars, men or women? Men! Women!
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies.

Men, we lie all the time.
We lie so much, it’s damn near a language.

lt’s like, to call a man out for lying…is like playing basketball with a retarded kid
and calling him for double dribble….

Men, we lie all the time.

You know what a man’s lie is like?
A man’s lie is like, ”l was at Tony’s house.”
”l’m at Kenny’s house.” That’s a man’s lie.

A women’s lie is like, ”lt’s your baby.”

We’ve all heard that one.

-”lt don’t even look like me.”
-”He’s got your hat.”

Here’s Chris on his way back from Kenny’s house

[Photo credit: Photo Agency]

Steve Jobs Will Turn Your Life Inside Out

No, this is not a reference to the legions of Macvangelists whose lives have been transformed by Jobs’ irresistibly trendy products. I know that hiding behind the “Macs are just a better product” facade lies the sordid truth, they have given their hearts over to Jobs (below).

“Come to me, all you who are weary and PC-burdened, and I will give you rest”

No, no I’m referring to you standing over the pit of PC land if you you dare to leak anything that is in development at Apple HQ. That would be bad enough but how forfeit is the guy’s life who leaves behind (gasp!) a prototype for the next iPhone at some seedy saloon?

Well, a software engineer named Gray Powell did it, read about it here.

Given Jobs’ legendary penchant for secrecy, how is he going to react? I don’t know but for some reason Romans 1:18 comes to mind. Here it is from the Mac Version,

The wrath of Jobs will be revealed from Cupertino against all the carelessness and slovenliness of software engineers who leave prototype iPhones at bars…

I hope Powell didn’t lose his job over this (according to the Gizmodo piece he might still be there), but it’s safe to say that he might have gotten in some trouble for this fracas.

After all, it is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living Jobs.

On a somewhat related note, who knew Jobs had a puritanical streak?

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