A Swift Friday Linkage

Started a new job that has required me to adjust my sleeping patterns, hence we roll out a Lilliputian Friday linkage:

Because Jerr-o just oozes credibility.

A relegated story about the fall of Saigon reaches a new generation, thanks NPR.

Stephen Hawking believes in something far more incredible than spontaneous generation. Takes some serious “wisdom” to make that leap… On a related note, the last sentence of this piece is as sad as it is erroneous.

Your Texas Longhorns kick off the season tomorrow, to quote Dietrich, “I’m as happy as a little girl”.

Et tu, Brute?

A very sensible take on Glenn Beck’s farcical gathering.  Albert Pujols, what were you thinking?

Man encourages 8-year-old to cuss and thus is charged for “impairing the morals of a child”. Not shocked that this happened but I am shocked that the authorities of the Connecticut town have such a charge available to them.

That’s right, he said it. lt had to be said. Somebody got to say it. The Black Crowes’ Chris Robinson took a swipe at Taylor Swift’s talent or lack thereof. Here’s a picture of her from the archives, Kanye is fark’d in, Toth’s son is not,

Friday Linkage

A man who rose to fame covering Bob Marley songs and riding the coattails of Lauryn Hill’s amazing voice will probably be the next President of Haiti. Why? Because Presidential elections there probably have the same student-council election vibe that they do here in the ‘States.

Hey, if the good ol’ U.S. of A can elect a man with zero executive experience to the land’s highest office on the strength of his ability to give a speech and celebrity status, who are we to tell Haiti they can’t do the same? Sean Penn, of all people, questioned Wyclef’s motives. The musician tried to allay Penn’s concerns by saying,

I just want Sean Penn to fully understand I am a Haitian, born in Haiti and I’ve been coming to my country ever since (I was) a child. He might just want to pick up the phone and meet, so he fully understands the man.

Oh, OK that should make Spicoli feel a lot better.

America’s sweetheart has converted to Hinduism. So America’s most beloved hooker is now a Hindu while her white trick in shining armor is a Buddhist. In the words of the often imitated but never duplicated Darth Vader, “The circle is now complete”.


I hope none of my ancestors came back as the oysters that produced those pearls

Next time you think about using your car horn when you’re in H-town, consider this.

A federal judge’s decision to strike down California’s Proposition 8 should encourage polygamists nationwide to push for the legalization of their chosen way of life.

The Guardian interviews Tariq Aziz.

Could this be a viable alternative? I smell cow manure, oh wait…

There are throwbacks whose idea of a good time is the beheading of infidels and there are throwbacks whose idea of a swell time differs just a tad.

Texas is #4 in the preseason Coaches’ poll? Methinks that’s a bit high considering it’s a “rebuilding” year…

Photo credit: Touchstone Pictures

Longhorns Go Wild, Steve Young Chimes In

What a summer it’s been for former Longhorn football players…

First, VY lashes out at some fool who makes the singularly stupid mistake of flashing that weakest of all hand signs at him. You know the hand sign that is first cousin to “t.u.”, that weakest of all retorts…

Then, Ced Benson allegedly punches a Sixth Street barkeep, then gets arrested for it a month later. I don’t know the circumstances of the events of that fateful night, but if the Library’s bar tenders were indicative of your average Sixth Street ‘keeps, I don’t know what Benson was thinking.

Finally, there’s Phil’s son who was arrested last night (or this morning) for driving under the influence of marijuana.


“Smoking pot and driving? What’s that if not the result of growing up in a laissez-faire atmosphere?”

I have no idea what has gotten into these UT guys. VY gets some props for not allowing the brand to be besmirched, but then again, it was 3 a.m. at a scrip club.

That’s 3 former Longhorn greats (Phil’s son gets the nod only by association) who have run afoul of the law and it’s only July 1st.

Summer has 2 months left, plenty of time for say, Dusty Mangum to get picked up for breaking and entering.

[Photo credit: ESPN]

Move Over Lloyd Christmas

In that great cinematic work, Dumb and Dumber, Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) asked Mike Starr’s character, “Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?” And he proceeded to serenade him with what, at the time, was the most annoying sound in the world. Here’s the clip:

Well, suffice it to say, that sound plays second fiddle to the drone emanating from those ubiquitous South African “stadium horns”, vuvuzelas. That infernal noise was first heard by a worldwide audience during last year’s Confederations’ Cup. They were annoying then, and they are annoying now at the World Cup.

Opinion varies as to whether these horns are “annoying irritants” or “joyful expressions of African culture”, but at the risk of sounding dismissive of other cultures, they simply are annoying and irritating expressions of joyful African culture.

Whether it’s a South African, German or Mexican (below) providing the wind power, the noise produced is equally irritating. So much so that earplugs have become a hot item in South Africa. One might conclude that the vuvuzela was a clever scheme concocted by ear plug vendors, but I digress…

I took this pic after a México win at Reliant Stadium a couple of years ago, a match which proved to be my first exposure to the glorified funnels. As horrible as the noise is, it can’t take away from the beautiful game, especially at an event like the World Cup.

However, it would be a good if somehow Univision or ESPN found a way to filter out the vuvuzela noise, as the BBC is thinking of doing.

Here are a couple of observations from yesterday and today’s action:

  • The Germans have looked the best out of all the teams that have played so far. So effortless do the Krauts look, so crisp and pinpoint their passes are, are they not? They seem to have mastered the troublesome Jabulani (the official match ball), could it be because most of their squad plays in the Bundesliga, which used the Jabulani as its match ball last season?  Things that make you go hmmm…
  • Speaking of ze Germans…  How ’bout that rousing advertisement for globalization that their squad is?  The German National Team, dubbed Die Mannschaft (insert joke here), boasts a naturalized Brazilian, a son of Turkish immigrants, a guy named Gomez (born in Germany, has a Spanish father), 2 naturalized Poles (seems to be a running gag), another guy whose father is Tunisian.  Ol’ Adolf must be turning over in his grave…
  • What is it with Italy allowing headers from Latin American teams at the World Cup?  In ’02 it was México’s Jared Borghetti and today it was Paraguay’s Antolín Alcaraz who did the honors. Like in ’02 against El Tri Italy tied with Paraguay 1-1.
  • ESPN, I know that you learned from the last World Cup and hired good announcers to man your booth but you are still lagging behind Univision’s varsity, Pablo Ramirez and Jésus “El Profe” Bracamontes.  After Italy equalized today, Ramirez sung in Italian.  That is how you do it ESPN.  When a goal is scored don’t call it like it’s a throw-in, call it “with feelin’” as Jon Bon Jovi crooned.

Finally, on a totally unrelated not, you are very welcome Baylor.

Frank Costanza Pays Lane Kiffin’s Buyout

I’m not here to lambast former Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin (below on the right), now head man at USC. Tell me who amongst you wouldn’t leave your current gig for a better paying and more prestigious one?


No, that’s not the Crypt Keeper scowling behind Kiffin

Can’t fault the man for leaving UT the Lesser and going to a place with sunnier skies and more teeth per capita than Knoxville, Tennessee.

I can’t even fault him or his staff for luring recruits away from Rocky Top and towards SoCal. Sure UT the Lesser fan is bent out of shape and whining about the unethical nature of Kiffin’s departure and antics. How comical is to watch any SEC fan complain about ethics in anything much less in college football recruiting, but I digress.

No, I’m here to marvel at the mountain of keish it took to buy out Mr. Kiffin’s Tennessee contract: $7.5 million.

Fortunately for SC, it has have plenty of rich alumni who are more than willing to foot that bill. In this particular case, the money man was Lakers owner Jerry Buss (below). Yes, that’s the same man who gave the world the gift of that keeps on giving, Festivus.


“Are you saying you want a piece of me?!?”

If anyone gets a clip of Lane Kiffin attempting to pin his benefactor during the Feats of Strength, please do share.

(Photo Credit: AP)

Thanks for the Memories Colt

For expert analysis of last night’s game go to the following:

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly – Texas 21, Alabama 37

Country music act, Little Texas, had a hit song back in the early 90s titled “What Might Have Been”. Here’s the video in all of its mulleted glory, view at your own risk.

One could say that the song’s title in large part, defines Colt McCoy’s (below, photo credit:  Ralph Barrera, Austin American-Statesman) illustrious career at The University of Texas.

Let’s hop on the DeLorean and travel back to November 11, 2006. Texas, fresh off a national title, is 9-1 and in the driver’s seat of the Big XII South despite starting a redshirt freshman at QB, Colt McCoy. Their only loss came at the hands of #1 Ohio State. They’re in Manhattan, Kansas to take on a mediocre K-State team.

First drive of the game, Texas moves the ball down the field gets close to the goal line. On a 4th and 1, a QB sneak is called, Colt runs it in for the score but suffers a neck stinger knocking him out of the game. In comes true freshman Jevan Snead who performs as well as one can expect.

Colt’s injury more than likely cost the Horns a Big XII title (they lost to KSU then to A&M, opening the way for OU to take the Big XII South) and possibly a shot at a rematch against Ohio State in the National Title Game. Horns end up in the Alamo Bowl, beat Iowa and hope springs eternal for 2007.

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Houston Makes History

The voters of H-town have spoken and their voice has been heard. Annise Parker has emerged victorious from the mayoral runoff election despite the fact that 11-year-old sources were the fulcrums of her TV ads, but I digress. Historical events trump stale cheap shots and differences in spellings.

After Ms. Parker’s triumph, the city of Houston will have a mayor named after a spice. Hey San Fran, Austin and Seattle, what spice are your mayors named after? Ya might wanna take a gander at the… scoreboard. In fact you’ve never had a mayor named Dill Weed, Coriander or Paprika. How regressive of you…

Given H-town voter tendencies, these 5 ladies will own the city of Houston should they ever decide to embark on political careers here in the Spice, er Space City.


Still collecting royalty checks

In more serious news, President Obama was robbed tonight at the Downtown Athletic Club. Mark Ingram? Really, Heisman voters? How many “Beer Summits” has he presided over?

Public Enemy had it wrong, 911 isn’t a joke, Heisman voting is.

Carl Pelini Gets “Jiggy Wit It” in Oslo

For those of you who don’t know who Carl Pelini is, he is the defensive coordinator and defensive line coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers. His younger brother, Bo, is the head coach. Yes, this is the dynamic duo who nearly unraveled my Longhorns drive to the national title game with their brilliant defensive game plan and a boy named Suh.

Shortly after the dramatic conclusion of the Big XII championship game, Bo and Carl stormed off the field in disgust over what they perceived was a hose job from the powers-that-be. Click here and here for excellent analysis.

According to this article, the strongest words came from Carl who allegedly said, “You should be ashamed to accept that trophy!” in the direction of the exultant Texas Longhorns who were accepting the Big XII Championship trophy at midfield.

Yesterday, President Barack Obama was in Oslo to accept the Nobel Peace Prize. Many feel that POTUS hasn’t done anything to deserve such high praise, and apparently the Pelini brothers reside in this demographic and made the roadie to Scandinavia to express themselves:

I wonder what the Fresh Prince thought of the Pelinis’ act…

Moratorium

On using out-of-context Biblical passages or events to bash or deify President Obama.

Enough already.

This might unsettle the throngs of Left Behind devotees, but POTUS is not the rider of the white horse in Rev 6, though Anna (below) might be.


“I can even save Charlie Weis’ job”

Nor is President Obama the rider of a different white horse in Rev 19, I’m looking at you Spike Lee. This does raise the question: If POTUS got inked up, what would he go with?

Psalm 2:1-2?

Thoughts on the Red River Shootout

Let me preface this post by referring the gentle reader to 2 truly magnificent summaries of the events that transpired last Saturday afternoon in Dallas:

“2009 Oklahoma Sooners Post-Mortem”

“The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly – Texas 16, Oklahoma 13″

Go check them out, but here are the thoughts of a random UT alum/fan watching the game from the comfort of his home in Houston:

  • Due to a Saturday morning family tradition (grocery shopping), I missed most of the first half.  No worries I taped the game and after watching the first half, I’m kind of glad I didn’t watch it live because I  easily avoided shaving 2 to 3 years off of my life.
  • I know that Texas’ offensive coordinator Greg Davis’ play-calling is well, offensive but seriously speaking is it not obvious that his spontaneous flashes of “brilliance” (running the Wildhorn after repeatedly punching the OU D in the mouth) have the great potential to cost his team a shot at the National title?
  • Before the season is out, will we see Will Muschamp go Buddy Ryan on the strangely Kevin Gilbride-like Greg Davis?
  • Stay classy OU player.  Defensive lineman Jeremy Beal’s bush league attempts to hurt Colt McCoy at the end of the game seem to be what a Bob Stoops-led team is about.
  • Speaking of Stoops, here is a sobering thought:  Bob Stoops has 6 conference titles, Mack Brown only has one.  Hopefully Mack adds to his grand total this season.
  • Earl Thomas, consider yourself “absolved” of what happened last year in Lubbock.  Led the Horns in tackles, 2 tackles for a loss, 1 forced fumble, and if not for a meddling teammate, should have scored recovering the fumble he forced.   How clutch is Texas’ safety Earl Thomas?  Like the guy occupying the bottom half of this pic, he leaves it all on the field [Thomas' photo credit: Rodolfo Gonzalez/AMERICAN-STATESMAN]Fire

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