Green Power Ranger Fights For Jesus Not Al Gore

The phenomenon that was the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers came on the scene too late in my life for me to bite into and enjoy its cheesy and goofy goodness. Never understood the concept of the show, though I may or may not have had a thing for the Pink Power Ranger, too bad she only had eyes for the Green Power Ranger.

Speaking of which, the man who played the GPR, Jason David Frank, is an MMA fighter. I’m sure that to Mr. Frank, MMA fighters must seem like chopped liver compared to the giant invertebrates he had to tussle with when with the MMPRs.

Frank is also a Christian and has meshed the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints with his chosen profession. The Houston Chronicle did a piece on him:

Jesus as the ultimate ultimate fighter

I get what he’s trying to do and to some degree it is commendable but resorting to slogans such as “Putting the Jew in jiu jitsu” is unfortunate.

With a nod to another mid 90s staple, Animaniacs, is the message of this karate studio a good idea or bad idea?

Speaking of 90s staples we all know that though the GPR might not fight for Al Gore, these guys would chomp at the bit:

Though I’m sure they’re also wondering why Mr. Gore has been strangely silent about the mess in the Gulf.

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Sgt. Murtaugh joins the 700 Club

I’d like nothing more than to pen a missive against Pat Robertson’s “brilliant analysis”, but as chronicled here, this man is a false prophet and well, the Scripture is clear as to what our response to such people should be: Hit that big ‘ol “Ignore” button.

However, this screed, if it can be called that, is directed at the newest member of the “700 Club”, actor/activist/community organizer (why not?) Danny Glover, below.

The venerable Sgt. Murtaugh swapped deities with Robertson and attributed the Haitian earthquake to the wrath of an righteously angry Mother Nature.

Pact with Gaia

The reason for her anger? Well because of the inability of the Copenhagen summit to act in regards to anthropomorphic global warming, naturally (no pun intended).

You’d think that at least he’d get his “theology” right. Gaia, as I understand the idol, is impersonal and as such, she (or he or it) doesn’t get angry or sad or happy or glad.

Mr. Glover, thoroughly enjoyed your work in the Lethal Weapon series, but when it comes to (“The-planet-has-a-fever”)ology, you should probably leave it to the experts, such as Captain Planet, below showing us what this “fever” has done for his personal wealth.

Wanted: Swamp Thing

The legendary Swamp Thing finds himself on the run after fomenting rebellion amongst algae colonies off the coast of Qingdao, China.

According to this story from the BBC, “Algae invade China Olympic venue”, Qingdao is to host the sailing events for the upcoming Summer Olympics in China.

To get the venue ready in time a massive number of people (10,000) have been put to work in the clean-up of the more than 5,000 sq. miles of scum.

This from the article,

Coastal areas and lakes in China see frequent algae blooms, often caused by the discharge of nitrogen-rich chemical pollutants, sewage and fertilisers in the water.

Somewhere Captain Planet and Sharon Stone are laughing, and toasting to the success of fellow crusader, Swamp Thing.

[Wanted Poster created with this generator]

How many Hail Gaias for an Apple Core?

Though I don’t fancy myself a Captain Planet type, it does bother me when people litter. Whether it’s a cigarette butt or the remains of a fast food meal being ceremoniously dumped out a moving vehicle, I can’t comprehend what compels people to do this. (Actually I do, for back when I was hitting the cancer sticks, I’d thoughtlessly do this and do it out of sheer laziness.)

I understand that there are some who would have such offenders pilloried and sent to Al Gore to say a few Hail Gaias.

While the man in the following story did not have to meet the movement’s High Priest, he was given the 3rd degree for allegedly dropping an apple core,
Man spends 18 hours in police cell and has his DNA taken for ‘dropping an apple core’

One can only wonder how different this goes down had Mr. Hirst dropped something that is not biodegradable?