The Spirit of Phil Hartman Lives on at Florida Tea Party

Yesterday was “Tax Day”, the day in which millions of people scramble like decapitated fowl to get their tax forms to their nearest post office.

Not coincidentally, various “Tea Party” groups chose “Tax Day” to express their discontent with our Federal government. I’ll leave the haranguing over the demographics to others.

While perusing through a gallery of shots taken at various nationwide demonstrations, here’s one of them:


[Photo Credit: Joe Cavaretta / AP]

Some may look at this and see an old man (possibly ex-military) telling some young punk that his slipper-wearing generation would have lost WWII, others might see this as an example of the uncivilized confrontations endemic to this kind of event.

Me? This pic took me back to the days when SNL was a must-see event. Remember the skit in which Frank Sinatra (Phil Hartman) slapped down an irreverent Billy Idol (Sting) with the epic line,

I’ve got chunks of guys like you in my stool!

Here’s the vid, the exchange begins at the 5:27 mark. Even a pro like Phil almost loses it after dropping the line.

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Somewhere, Tim LaHaye Raises an O’Doul’s

In the company of John Hagee no doubt.

The following headline merely states what these 2 prophecy savants have been pitching, for great profit (insert joke here), to evangelicals for decades,

Chief exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth says Devil is in the Vatican

Look, if Father Gabe says the Devil is not in the details but rather in the Holy See so be it. He’s an exorcist so he MUST know. What exorcism has to do with how Jesus or some of His apostles cast out demons in the New Testament I do not know.

One thing is clear, the current Pope… well, just take a look:

On a related note, this week’s great moments in theology brought to you by Hugo Chavez,

Chavez trusts God and nature in power crisis

Vladimir Putin: the Answer to Russia’s Olympic Woes

The 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics just concluded yesterday and once again my fatherland turned in a dazzling performance… NOT. México’s Winter Olympic team consisted of one man, Hubertus von Hohenlohe, a slalom skier.

El Beto (who is of German descent) managed to come in 46th and 78th in the slalom and giant slalom respectively. I bring this up not to puff up my nationalistic sensitivites (as if) but to accentuate the contrast in expectations.

The Russian delegation, relative to México’s one man wrecking crew, performed gloriously. By gloriously, I mean they managed to not only win a medal but eleven of them, three of them gold! México has never sniffed a medal in a Winter Olympics.

Yet for all this, Russia’s President Dmitry Medvedev came out and lambasted his nation’s performance in Vancouver,

Medvedev calls for resignations after Russia flops at Winter Olympics

Dima made some apparently helpful suggestions,

We need to think about how we change our training methods. The new training system should focus on athletes who should be put at its cornerstone, not sports federations and their executives — and not even the trainers, with all our great respect to them. Athletes are those who bring victories, and they should become the focus of our attention.

We can’t even blame Russia’s “poor performance” on the fact that the Soviet Union is a thing of the past. The combined medal won by all former Soviet republics is 22, which would have put the USSR in 5th place right behind Norway.

I’m sure Medvedev is going to summon experts to come up with better methods to increase his nation’s medal hauls at the Summer Games in London (2012) and the next Winter Games in Sochi (2014). I, however, have more helpful advice and it’ll probably cost less rubles.

Unleash your one man wrecking crew, Prime Minister Putin. He would be a lock for gold in the following events:

Badminton

Equestrian

Judo

Shooting Sports

President Medvedev, in your pal, Mr. Putin, you have a national treasure but more importantly, an athletic and versatile golden goose.

If you don’t want him, surely I can petition the Mexican government to grant him honorary citizenship so at least we can hold our heads high at the next Olympic Games.

I can see it now in Sochi, El Putin and El Beto wiping the floor with the field in the 2-man luge and the cheers ringing out from El Zócalo to Cabo San Lucas: ¡Putin! ¡Putin! ¡Putin!

Jaime Escalante Will Win American Idol Season 9

The remaining 12 girls performed tonight on American Idol. The verdict? An all-around snoozefest. Save for the look on Simon Cowell’s face after fellow judge Kara Guardio channeled her inner Paula and commented that “Leona Lewis is her generation’s Mariah Carey”. Huh? Leona couldn’t carry Mariah’s, oh never mind.

It was painfully obvious that none of the 12 remaining songstresses will win Season 9, but Lilly Scott might have a shot at making the final on the strength of her rocking the Madam Mim look.

Personally, I think this competition is locked up. As this post’s title brazenly states, retired Calculus teacher, Jaime Escalante will take the disco ball, er fat recording contract come May 26.

Here’s Jaime on the right and in Idol form on the left (no pun intended my Russian readers).

And on a related note, to be sure, Mr. Escalante can count on this man for support:

Carl Pelini Gets “Jiggy Wit It” in Oslo

For those of you who don’t know who Carl Pelini is, he is the defensive coordinator and defensive line coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers. His younger brother, Bo, is the head coach. Yes, this is the dynamic duo who nearly unraveled my Longhorns drive to the national title game with their brilliant defensive game plan and a boy named Suh.

Shortly after the dramatic conclusion of the Big XII championship game, Bo and Carl stormed off the field in disgust over what they perceived was a hose job from the powers-that-be. Click here and here for excellent analysis.

According to this article, the strongest words came from Carl who allegedly said, “You should be ashamed to accept that trophy!” in the direction of the exultant Texas Longhorns who were accepting the Big XII Championship trophy at midfield.

Yesterday, President Barack Obama was in Oslo to accept the Nobel Peace Prize. Many feel that POTUS hasn’t done anything to deserve such high praise, and apparently the Pelini brothers reside in this demographic and made the roadie to Scandinavia to express themselves:

I wonder what the Fresh Prince thought of the Pelinis’ act…

Tebow Wept…

In defeat, Tim Tebow is Christ-like,

Someone give this man the Heisman, it should look great flanked by the scalps of Texas OC Greg Davis and Texas OL coach, Mac McWhorther

And finally, the man who prevented BCS chaos with his golden foot, Texas kicker Hunter Lawrence,

Hook ’em

Taylor Swift Takes a Picture with the Son of Toth

Confession:   I can’t name a single Taylor Swift song.

I knew who she was (the country singer who always looks like she’s about to sneeze) before Kanye West humiliated the poor girl before a national television audience. Kanye’s act that night, though earning him Presidential scorn, catapulted the man into “legend” status, particularly among the Swift Haters. Predictably his showmanship went viral, see here.

Well now, potentially, it is the affable Ms. Swift who might be in some hot water:

Taylor Swift in racism row after posing with fan wearing swastika daubed on shirt

And because we’re not exempt here at Last Row from succumbing to the occasional viral campaign (it is flu season), like a Yankee batter facing Cliff Lee, I just couldn’t lay off:

Taylor Swift