2050 is the new 2012

Supposedly, 2012 is the year in which the Mayan calendar ends. What some have taken from this is that 2012 will also be the year in which planet Earth becomes, with apologies to Hal Lindsey/Tim Melton (below), “The Late, Great Planet Earth”.


Have you ever seen these 2 men at the same place at the same time?

A movie was even made about this mythical 2012 date, the movie was called, *drum roll please* “2012”.

The fact that Mayans don’t buy into this 2012 hysteria has been cavalierly brushed aside in the name of sensationalistic entertainment.

Perhaps if we ask a certain slice of the American population, the year the world will end is not 2012 but 2050. Why 2050? Because of what this story reports,

White Americans’ majority to end by mid-century

So, I guess the question is, when this shift occurs what will be the consequences, if any, for this nation “under God”?

Since I’m no futurist or gypsy fortune teller, I cannot say but when I read stories like this one or hear caterwauling about how brown people are overrunning this land, I cannot help but hark back to what Chris Rock said at the end of the last millennium:

Man, the white man thinks he’s losing the country. You watch the news: ”We’re losing everything. We’re $#@?&%$ losing. ”Affirmative action, and illegal aliens… and we’re $#@?&%$ losing the country… lf y’all losing, who’s winning?”

Institutionalized

Believe what you want. These walls are funny. First you hate ’em, then you get used to ’em. After long enough, you get so you depend on ’em. That’s “institutionalized.” — Ellis Boyd “Red” Redding (below)

Red

I’ve never been in prison, but Red’s words can’t be far off the mark. Confinement will have some effect on the confined. Red was referring to humans but I think the same can be said of wild animals who are put in zoos.

A zoo, for all the wonder it generates in children, is nothing more than a prison for our furry, scaly, or feathered friends. Now, I’m not going to go as far as some and suggest that they be outlawed, but last time I visited one, it was depressing.

Check out this vid taken at the National Zoo in Washington D.C.

In the wild, this deer would be lunch for this lioness. Yet, because she’s been fed like a house cat and not allowed to chase live prey, this lioness can’t even put an end to Bambi and thus enjoy her first kill in who knows how long. The deer did eventually die from its wounds, but I doubt that the carcass was fed to the real-life Naala.

You can hear the crowd cheering for the deer but if yours truly had been there, I would have been the only one rooting for the lioness.

About the only thing “wild” that lives on in this lioness is the reluctance to jump into deep water.

Like Brooks, who Red is describing, it’s safe to say this magnificent lioness has been institutionalized.

Here’s the story the vid came from:

Tragic end for the zoo deer who leapt into a lion enclosure

Cougar Town

It has been an observation of mine that there are a lot more University of Houston students/alumni who root for the Texas Longhorns than the other way around.

This has been particularly evident after the resurgence of the UT football program under the tutelage of furniture/snake oil salesman Mack Brown. It has been my policy to look down on the bandwagon jumpin’ crowd, after all they weren’t there for Rout 66 back in the day.

Of course, one is willing to be a bit more forgiving when one catches oneself jumping on a bandwagon. I grew up in H-town and fascinated by the run-and-shoot of the UH teams of the late 80s. I remember Andre Ware winning the Heisman (more on this later) and the heights which the Cougars scaled back then.

UH

St. Gregory, Inventor of the Cougar Paw

Never in my lifetime, did I think that the UH program would jump back into the national spotlight. Especially after being left out of the emerging Big XII superconference due in part to the wishes of a capricious Governor Richards.

Being left out of the Big XII and being relegated to the Siberian exile that is C-USA wasn’t enough. Back in 2001, under Coach Dana Dismal er, Dimel they managed to run the table in reverse (0-10), thus hitting rock bottom.

Fast forward to the year of our Lord 2009, and the Coogs are #12 in the AP poll due in large part to a win over then #5 Oklahoma State in Stoolwater and last Saturday’s dramatic vic over Texas Tech. Here’s the last minute of the Tech game,

The kids on campus are following Jack Buck’s sage advice and going crazy (won’t go into the missing helmets) and the Coogs are getting some national love in the form of:

  • An appearance by Coach Sumlin on the Jim Rome Show of all places.

Even though I bleed burnt orange, I hope the Coogs run the table and make it to a BCS bowl at the end of the year. I’ll be rooting for them then unless they’re playing my beloved Longhorns in said bowl game.

I don’t know why I’m getting behind this team, it’s not a sudden onset of civic pride or anything. Maybe it’s because UH’s success takes me back to a simpler time, when Astroturf and flat tops (wait for it…) reigned supreme.

Not really sure, but what is for sure is that though neither Stifler’s mom or Stacy’s mom live in H-town, it’s beginning to look like College Football sure does. Right, Andre?

Andre Ware

Texans Drop a Deuce on Opening Day

[Disclaimer: Yes I know it is only one game]

Well technically since the mascot is a bull, I guess they dropped a cow patty.

Boy, what a pathetic excuse for an NFL team the Houston Texans have been in the 8 years of their miserable existence. It seems that year in, year out we see the same story played out here in H-town. This is from last year’s opener:

The Texans Train Wreck Begins…

Every off-season the local sports radio crowd, especially on Sportsradio 610, do their best to hype up the Texans. Couldn’t be because they’re the official radio home of the Texans, could it? Nah…

Most, if not all, of the hosts have the Texans in the playoffs. To quote the always personable Jim Mora, “Playoffs?!?” In all fairness that could still happen, but hard to see with the way the team threw up all over themselves yesterday.

Every year, most of the “long-time” Texans fans in our fair city get their hopes up only to have them come crashing down in a most spectacular manner after witnessing the season opener.

Leading the idealistic charge are the grown men who paint their mugs like so many clowns and make spectacles of themselves at Reliant Stadium, as chronicled here and here:

Texans Fan

Karren Warren – Houston Chronicle

Last year it was the Steelers, yesterday it was the New York Jets, who oh by the way trotted out a rookie starting quarterback, who for now, dashed the dreams of a frustrated fan base, which actually booed the Texans during the game yesterday.

As I did last year, I’ll leave the commentary to the local experten.

One thing begs to be pointed out, it’s not that the Texans lose but how they lose and that for the past 8 years, they’ve lost for the same reasons: jittery QB play, a timidity to rushing the opposing QB and last but certainly not least, an offensive line that is allergic to protecting the quarterback.

The latter was in plain view yesterday, especially when Jets’ Nose Tackle Kris Jenkins shoved aside Texans’ center Chris Myers as if he were filled with straw.

I don’t know, maybe we all should have seen yesterday’s joke of a game coming, given what happened the day before to the mascot of the University of Virginia. The same university Texans QB Matt Schaub attended.

Matt Schaub

Karren Warren – Houston Chronicle

The position Schaub assumed above was also assumed by his alma mater’s mascot, “CavMan”, after the latter was literally thrown off his horse. Here’s the vid:

Here’s to another grand season from your Houston Texans!

Maybe He Thought He was in México…

Referring to Houston police officer, Anthony R. Foster, who is accused of taking cash from a motorist whom he pulled over. He’s being charged with “theft by a public servant.” Authorities kind of frown on that. You can read about it here:

Houston police officer caught in sting

Veteran HPD officer accused of theft

While it generally isn’t a good idea to try to bribe the police, even to try to get out of a ticket, in México it is a way of life.

It’s not a stretch to say that such bribery (known there as mordida) Apple supplements the meager salary traffic cops receive from their government.

From what I understand, a $50 handshake can get one out of a DUI.

Now before the residents and citizens of these United States look down at this, let us not forget that though bribery is illegal here, it happens and it is accepted at the highest levels of government. To quote a commenter in the Chronicle story,

Why is it when a cop takes a bribe its called a felony, and when a judge takes his or her bribes( ie campaign contributions) its called a donation?

If a cop pulled you over and offered to let you go for a fee, would you?

Did the Mannequin Cause the Accident?

Anyone remember the movie, Mannequin? Mannequin Where that guy ends up hooking up with a mannequin who comes to life? Oh, and that mannequin was played by none other than Kim Cattrall?

Well a Houston motorist wishes that his mannequin had come to life, though not for romantic reasons. You see, this guy was using a mannequin to get in carpool lane without penalty. This kind of thing is dreamed up by many a commuter here in Houston who has to deal with the congestion endemic to our thoroughfares.

If you can pull it off everything is peachy, but if you rear-end a fellow car pooler then things aren’t so swell. Unfortunately, Metro police doesn’t consider a mannequin as an occupant, so this particular commuter was ticketed for “with excessive speed and unauthorized use of a high-occupancy vehicle lane.”

Here’s the story from the Houston Chronicle where you can see the picture of the confiscated mannequin and read the commuter’s excuse: Metro: HOV driver with mannequin causes wreck

On a side note here’s the last part of the story,

Metro Police Capt. Michael Raney said officers confiscate, on average, one fake person a month from motorists in HOV lanes.

The most common type is a baby doll strapped in a car seat. Among fake adults, males are more common than females, he said.

The agency issued 4,683 tickets last year for unauthorized use of the HOV lane. The fine can go as high as $200.

“It should be a real person that is alive and breathing,” Raney said of the HOV passenger requirement. “Infants in the womb don’t count.”

And yes, he’s heard that one too.

I know Captain Raney isn’t a doctor, but surely he must know that “infants in the womb” are real people and they’re alive and do breathe.

Reason to Steal: “It’s the Economy, Stupid!”

At least according to what a robber told the teller in the following story,

FBI: Bank Robber Says He Needs to Eat

Look, I don’t know this fellow’s situation. I’m not going to sit here and pontificate on what I would do if I was in his position.

It is peculiar that the alleged thief’s getaway car was a “tan gray or silver 4-door Chrysler sedan with custom rims.”

Rims
Too bad you can’t eat one of these