A Metro Commuter’s Final Fantasy

metro

Yours truly rides to work in one of these beasts every day. I would like to sit here and pontificate that it’s all for mother Gaia blah blah blah, but it’s not. Sure it’s a nice side effect that I’m not contributing an infinitesimally small amount of pollution to an already hazy Houston skyline, but the main reason I take public transportation to work is to avoid the morass that is Houston traffic.

For this I’m thankful.

This being said, getting into one of these rigs every day has certain disadvantages. One such drawback is having to listen to fellow riders share their most intimate details as they carelessly yak away on their cell phones.

From the tool that shared his secrets on how to lure the ladies into his lecherous lair, to the dear woman who just had to inform her husband (and us all) that she wasn’t going to give him her paycheck. (Girl power!)

To the party girl who thought that sharing her story of her nude adventures with her sister-in-law would add a little sizzle to our otherwise worthless lives. I could do a whole post on the things overheard in fellow riders’ cellphone conversations, but I won’t.

Well there is that guy who calls his entire Contacts list until he settles on someone who is just as bored as he is. By such time, the rest of us are ready to chuck him out the window.

Don’t think for a second that while enduring one of these chats I have not fantasized about owning one of those cell phone jammer things and letting it loose on these public offenders.

Yeah, I know that they’re illegal and that their use carries hefty penalties.

According to this story, “Police put in tight Jam: Cellphone jammers might silence annoying public chat, but they also risk officers’ safety”, the FCC will dock you $11K if you get caught the first time.

Judging by the following bit from the story, I’m not the only who has these fantasies,

Hand-held jammers, which are easily purchased online for about $200, are becoming increasingly common in the U.S., where people are eager to silence chatty public transit users.

Nice to know that you’re not alone…

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