Putin’s Legend Grows

It is not a secret that I belong to the Vladimir Putin Admiration Society. I have long chronicled the PiM’s daring and virile pursuits, check it out here. Coming face to face with President Reagan, his nation’s sworn enemy, without flinching might just top anything else that Volodya has accomplished, until now…

Putin’s insatiable drive to unseat Sir Winston Churchill as the greatest Prime Minister of all time has taken him into the cockpit of a firefighting plane. His mission? To battle the raging fires which threaten the Rodina.


“I’m going in, cover me Porkins!”

Using the finely honed accuracy which served him well in his trek to save the Siberian tiger, Putin doused the burning inferno with some earth juice scoring a “direct hit”.

I did not appreciate the AP writer’s attempt to dismiss Putin’s heroism,

The stunt was classic Putin. In past years, he has copiloted a fighter jet, ridden a horse bare-chested in Siberia and descended to the bottom of Lake Baikal in a mini-sub. Just last month he drove a Harley Davidson motorcycle to a biker rally.

Stunt? Stunt?!?! Really? This is who the man is, a man on a quest to cure the world’s ills. To make this world a better place one tank of water at a time, all for the benefit of us the little people.

Shame on you AP journo for your nay saying.

Oh, that these United States had such a figure at the top!

You know if a piece of the Russian coastline suffered the same fate as the Gulf, Putin be the first one down there personally plugging the hole until BP or Lukoil could get their act together and cap it.

Long live Volodya!

No Putin post on this blog ends until I give a shout out to Animotion’s greatest hit

(Photo credit: AP Photo/RIA Novosti, Alexei Nikolsky, Pool)

Putin’s New Challenge(r)

Because counting coup with Siberian tigers and riding horseback bare-chested just don’t sate his virile appetite, Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has received a worthy wrestling partner from the Iranians: a leopard.

Maybe Putin had to go into the animal kingdom for a worthy adversary because his wrestling (but not in that way) partner Russian President Dmitry Medvedev no longer provided a challenge.

Who knows what the PM is thinking? I do know that if Volodya ever wants to test his mettle against Chuck Norris I wouldn’t want to be within a continent and a half of such a clash.

The ABC story states, “Tough guy Putin is an unlikely environmentalist…”

Does this imply that environmentalists, as a general rule, are limp-wristed pansies?

As we do after every post centered on El Putin, here’s an oldie but a goodie:

Vladimir Putin: the Answer to Russia’s Olympic Woes

The 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics just concluded yesterday and once again my fatherland turned in a dazzling performance… NOT. México’s Winter Olympic team consisted of one man, Hubertus von Hohenlohe, a slalom skier.

El Beto (who is of German descent) managed to come in 46th and 78th in the slalom and giant slalom respectively. I bring this up not to puff up my nationalistic sensitivites (as if) but to accentuate the contrast in expectations.

The Russian delegation, relative to México’s one man wrecking crew, performed gloriously. By gloriously, I mean they managed to not only win a medal but eleven of them, three of them gold! México has never sniffed a medal in a Winter Olympics.

Yet for all this, Russia’s President Dmitry Medvedev came out and lambasted his nation’s performance in Vancouver,

Medvedev calls for resignations after Russia flops at Winter Olympics

Dima made some apparently helpful suggestions,

We need to think about how we change our training methods. The new training system should focus on athletes who should be put at its cornerstone, not sports federations and their executives — and not even the trainers, with all our great respect to them. Athletes are those who bring victories, and they should become the focus of our attention.

We can’t even blame Russia’s “poor performance” on the fact that the Soviet Union is a thing of the past. The combined medal won by all former Soviet republics is 22, which would have put the USSR in 5th place right behind Norway.

I’m sure Medvedev is going to summon experts to come up with better methods to increase his nation’s medal hauls at the Summer Games in London (2012) and the next Winter Games in Sochi (2014). I, however, have more helpful advice and it’ll probably cost less rubles.

Unleash your one man wrecking crew, Prime Minister Putin. He would be a lock for gold in the following events:

Badminton

Equestrian

Judo

Shooting Sports

President Medvedev, in your pal, Mr. Putin, you have a national treasure but more importantly, an athletic and versatile golden goose.

If you don’t want him, surely I can petition the Mexican government to grant him honorary citizenship so at least we can hold our heads high at the next Olympic Games.

I can see it now in Sochi, El Putin and El Beto wiping the floor with the field in the 2-man luge and the cheers ringing out from El Zócalo to Cabo San Lucas: ¡Putin! ¡Putin! ¡Putin!

Marley & Us

Putin Badminton

AP

That has to be the nicest badminton court I’ve seen, but then again I have not seen that many. I wonder if Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin (right) informed President Dmitry Medvedev (left) that this was going to be a mixed doubles match.

Qué mañoso Volodya, qué mañoso.

When I saw this pic, it reminded me of that Taco Bell commercial starring Hakeem Olajuwon and Shaq back in the day.

Yes I know the constant posting of Vladimir Putin’s activities remind you, gentle reader, of a certain number by Animotion. What song? Let’s go to the tape…

Putin Strikes a Centauric Pose

As chronicled here and here, the inimitable Prime Minister of Russia, one Vladimir Putin (all Spanish speakers say “hey-o!”), has a penchant for getting in touch with his masculinity or at least getting photographed in virile poses.

While the things which are emerging as the hallmarks of manhood such as wearing scarves in summer and sporting a perpetual pout might sate the up-and-comers, Putin’s act takes us back to the days Archie and Edith crooned about (“Girls were girls and men were men.”)

Here’s his latest attempt to take manhood back:

Centaur

Alexsey Druginyn/AFP/Getty Images

Eat your heart out Chiron and Firenze, here comes the P.M.

You can read about his latest adventure here.

One can almost say Putin’s feats of strength are his attempts of shaking the unshakable Spanish translation of his surname.

Before Bobby Valentine, there was Vladimir Putin

Back in our college days, my friends and I would frequent one of our glorious university’s computer labs. Since we attended college at around the time that chat rooms were beginning to proliferate, our time was spent talking to people we’d never meet.

Naturally, using the anonymity that the ‘Net grants, we’d play all sorts of pranks on each other. Without going into detail, let’s just say that some of them were epic.

This kind of tomfoolery would extend to acquaintances. We knew these 2 guys and on one occurrence we tried to punk them via chat room. They must have caught on because one of them (the spymaster) sent the other on a mission unworthy of Dzerzhinsky.

The fact that our counterespionage efforts uncovered the plot reveals the efficacy of our nemesis’ total lack of subterfuge. After this incident we glossed this guy, “Beano the Spy”.

It is this lack of subterfuge and underhandedness to which I pay tribute to on this day.

Exhibit A is former New York Mets skipper, Bobby Valentine. Bobby was ejected from a game and then came back to the dugout looking like this,
bobby-valentine

Exhibit B, I’m afraid, is anachronistic. At the time the following picture was taken, we didn’t know that the spy in question would later become Russia’s President and more importantly, because of his unfortunate last name, the butt of many Mexicans’ jokes,

putin

Source: Pete Souza

Here’s the story behind the picture:

“Undercover Putin In KGB Reagan Ruse”

Putin is Wild at Heart

As noted before, Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin is into overt displays of masculinity.

Tranquilizing tigers, manning monster trucks, fly fishing, flying fighter jets are but a few of the things Putin has done, and now we can add teaching judo to the list,
Macho Putin in yet ANOTHER display of masculinity as he releases ‘Let’s learn judo with Vladimir’ DVD

I think Volodya is ready for MMA

According to the story, Putin said,

‘Without sports, it’s impossible to speak of a healthy way of life, about the health of the nation as such,’ he said.

Good for the 56-year-old leader for choosing not to live a sedentary lifestyle, and it does make one wonder if someone slipped him a copy of John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart (below)

Unfortunately, people are still laughing at his surname in México…

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