A Swift Friday Linkage

Started a new job that has required me to adjust my sleeping patterns, hence we roll out a Lilliputian Friday linkage:

Because Jerr-o just oozes credibility.

A relegated story about the fall of Saigon reaches a new generation, thanks NPR.

Stephen Hawking believes in something far more incredible than spontaneous generation. Takes some serious “wisdom” to make that leap… On a related note, the last sentence of this piece is as sad as it is erroneous.

Your Texas Longhorns kick off the season tomorrow, to quote Dietrich, “I’m as happy as a little girl”.

Et tu, Brute?

A very sensible take on Glenn Beck’s farcical gathering.  Albert Pujols, what were you thinking?

Man encourages 8-year-old to cuss and thus is charged for “impairing the morals of a child”. Not shocked that this happened but I am shocked that the authorities of the Connecticut town have such a charge available to them.

That’s right, he said it. lt had to be said. Somebody got to say it. The Black Crowes’ Chris Robinson took a swipe at Taylor Swift’s talent or lack thereof. Here’s a picture of her from the archives, Kanye is fark’d in, Toth’s son is not,

Friday Linkage

A man who rose to fame covering Bob Marley songs and riding the coattails of Lauryn Hill’s amazing voice will probably be the next President of Haiti. Why? Because Presidential elections there probably have the same student-council election vibe that they do here in the ‘States.

Hey, if the good ol’ U.S. of A can elect a man with zero executive experience to the land’s highest office on the strength of his ability to give a speech and celebrity status, who are we to tell Haiti they can’t do the same? Sean Penn, of all people, questioned Wyclef’s motives. The musician tried to allay Penn’s concerns by saying,

I just want Sean Penn to fully understand I am a Haitian, born in Haiti and I’ve been coming to my country ever since (I was) a child. He might just want to pick up the phone and meet, so he fully understands the man.

Oh, OK that should make Spicoli feel a lot better.

America’s sweetheart has converted to Hinduism. So America’s most beloved hooker is now a Hindu while her white trick in shining armor is a Buddhist. In the words of the often imitated but never duplicated Darth Vader, “The circle is now complete”.


I hope none of my ancestors came back as the oysters that produced those pearls

Next time you think about using your car horn when you’re in H-town, consider this.

A federal judge’s decision to strike down California’s Proposition 8 should encourage polygamists nationwide to push for the legalization of their chosen way of life.

The Guardian interviews Tariq Aziz.

Could this be a viable alternative? I smell cow manure, oh wait…

There are throwbacks whose idea of a good time is the beheading of infidels and there are throwbacks whose idea of a swell time differs just a tad.

Texas is #4 in the preseason Coaches’ poll? Methinks that’s a bit high considering it’s a “rebuilding” year…

Photo credit: Touchstone Pictures

Longhorns Go Wild, Steve Young Chimes In

What a summer it’s been for former Longhorn football players…

First, VY lashes out at some fool who makes the singularly stupid mistake of flashing that weakest of all hand signs at him. You know the hand sign that is first cousin to “t.u.”, that weakest of all retorts…

Then, Ced Benson allegedly punches a Sixth Street barkeep, then gets arrested for it a month later. I don’t know the circumstances of the events of that fateful night, but if the Library’s bar tenders were indicative of your average Sixth Street ‘keeps, I don’t know what Benson was thinking.

Finally, there’s Phil’s son who was arrested last night (or this morning) for driving under the influence of marijuana.


“Smoking pot and driving? What’s that if not the result of growing up in a laissez-faire atmosphere?”

I have no idea what has gotten into these UT guys. VY gets some props for not allowing the brand to be besmirched, but then again, it was 3 a.m. at a scrip club.

That’s 3 former Longhorn greats (Phil’s son gets the nod only by association) who have run afoul of the law and it’s only July 1st.

Summer has 2 months left, plenty of time for say, Dusty Mangum to get picked up for breaking and entering.

[Photo credit: ESPN]

Move Over Lloyd Christmas

In that great cinematic work, Dumb and Dumber, Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) asked Mike Starr’s character, “Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?” And he proceeded to serenade him with what, at the time, was the most annoying sound in the world. Here’s the clip:

Well, suffice it to say, that sound plays second fiddle to the drone emanating from those ubiquitous South African “stadium horns”, vuvuzelas. That infernal noise was first heard by a worldwide audience during last year’s Confederations’ Cup. They were annoying then, and they are annoying now at the World Cup.

Opinion varies as to whether these horns are “annoying irritants” or “joyful expressions of African culture”, but at the risk of sounding dismissive of other cultures, they simply are annoying and irritating expressions of joyful African culture.

Whether it’s a South African, German or Mexican (below) providing the wind power, the noise produced is equally irritating. So much so that earplugs have become a hot item in South Africa. One might conclude that the vuvuzela was a clever scheme concocted by ear plug vendors, but I digress…

I took this pic after a México win at Reliant Stadium a couple of years ago, a match which proved to be my first exposure to the glorified funnels. As horrible as the noise is, it can’t take away from the beautiful game, especially at an event like the World Cup.

However, it would be a good if somehow Univision or ESPN found a way to filter out the vuvuzela noise, as the BBC is thinking of doing.

Here are a couple of observations from yesterday and today’s action:

  • The Germans have looked the best out of all the teams that have played so far. So effortless do the Krauts look, so crisp and pinpoint their passes are, are they not? They seem to have mastered the troublesome Jabulani (the official match ball), could it be because most of their squad plays in the Bundesliga, which used the Jabulani as its match ball last season?  Things that make you go hmmm…
  • Speaking of ze Germans…  How ’bout that rousing advertisement for globalization that their squad is?  The German National Team, dubbed Die Mannschaft (insert joke here), boasts a naturalized Brazilian, a son of Turkish immigrants, a guy named Gomez (born in Germany, has a Spanish father), 2 naturalized Poles (seems to be a running gag), another guy whose father is Tunisian.  Ol’ Adolf must be turning over in his grave…
  • What is it with Italy allowing headers from Latin American teams at the World Cup?  In ’02 it was México’s Jared Borghetti and today it was Paraguay’s Antolín Alcaraz who did the honors. Like in ’02 against El Tri Italy tied with Paraguay 1-1.
  • ESPN, I know that you learned from the last World Cup and hired good announcers to man your booth but you are still lagging behind Univision’s varsity, Pablo Ramirez and Jésus “El Profe” Bracamontes.  After Italy equalized today, Ramirez sung in Italian.  That is how you do it ESPN.  When a goal is scored don’t call it like it’s a throw-in, call it “with feelin'” as Jon Bon Jovi crooned.

Finally, on a totally unrelated not, you are very welcome Baylor.

Thanks for the Memories Colt

For expert analysis of last night’s game go to the following:

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly – Texas 21, Alabama 37

Country music act, Little Texas, had a hit song back in the early 90s titled “What Might Have Been”. Here’s the video in all of its mulleted glory, view at your own risk.

One could say that the song’s title in large part, defines Colt McCoy’s (below, photo credit:  Ralph Barrera, Austin American-Statesman) illustrious career at The University of Texas.

Let’s hop on the DeLorean and travel back to November 11, 2006. Texas, fresh off a national title, is 9-1 and in the driver’s seat of the Big XII South despite starting a redshirt freshman at QB, Colt McCoy. Their only loss came at the hands of #1 Ohio State. They’re in Manhattan, Kansas to take on a mediocre K-State team.

First drive of the game, Texas moves the ball down the field gets close to the goal line. On a 4th and 1, a QB sneak is called, Colt runs it in for the score but suffers a neck stinger knocking him out of the game. In comes true freshman Jevan Snead who performs as well as one can expect.

Colt’s injury more than likely cost the Horns a Big XII title (they lost to KSU then to A&M, opening the way for OU to take the Big XII South) and possibly a shot at a rematch against Ohio State in the National Title Game. Horns end up in the Alamo Bowl, beat Iowa and hope springs eternal for 2007.

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Carl Pelini Gets “Jiggy Wit It” in Oslo

For those of you who don’t know who Carl Pelini is, he is the defensive coordinator and defensive line coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers. His younger brother, Bo, is the head coach. Yes, this is the dynamic duo who nearly unraveled my Longhorns drive to the national title game with their brilliant defensive game plan and a boy named Suh.

Shortly after the dramatic conclusion of the Big XII championship game, Bo and Carl stormed off the field in disgust over what they perceived was a hose job from the powers-that-be. Click here and here for excellent analysis.

According to this article, the strongest words came from Carl who allegedly said, “You should be ashamed to accept that trophy!” in the direction of the exultant Texas Longhorns who were accepting the Big XII Championship trophy at midfield.

Yesterday, President Barack Obama was in Oslo to accept the Nobel Peace Prize. Many feel that POTUS hasn’t done anything to deserve such high praise, and apparently the Pelini brothers reside in this demographic and made the roadie to Scandinavia to express themselves:

I wonder what the Fresh Prince thought of the Pelinis’ act…

Cougar Town

It has been an observation of mine that there are a lot more University of Houston students/alumni who root for the Texas Longhorns than the other way around.

This has been particularly evident after the resurgence of the UT football program under the tutelage of furniture/snake oil salesman Mack Brown. It has been my policy to look down on the bandwagon jumpin’ crowd, after all they weren’t there for Rout 66 back in the day.

Of course, one is willing to be a bit more forgiving when one catches oneself jumping on a bandwagon. I grew up in H-town and fascinated by the run-and-shoot of the UH teams of the late 80s. I remember Andre Ware winning the Heisman (more on this later) and the heights which the Cougars scaled back then.

UH

St. Gregory, Inventor of the Cougar Paw

Never in my lifetime, did I think that the UH program would jump back into the national spotlight. Especially after being left out of the emerging Big XII superconference due in part to the wishes of a capricious Governor Richards.

Being left out of the Big XII and being relegated to the Siberian exile that is C-USA wasn’t enough. Back in 2001, under Coach Dana Dismal er, Dimel they managed to run the table in reverse (0-10), thus hitting rock bottom.

Fast forward to the year of our Lord 2009, and the Coogs are #12 in the AP poll due in large part to a win over then #5 Oklahoma State in Stoolwater and last Saturday’s dramatic vic over Texas Tech. Here’s the last minute of the Tech game,

The kids on campus are following Jack Buck’s sage advice and going crazy (won’t go into the missing helmets) and the Coogs are getting some national love in the form of:

  • An appearance by Coach Sumlin on the Jim Rome Show of all places.

Even though I bleed burnt orange, I hope the Coogs run the table and make it to a BCS bowl at the end of the year. I’ll be rooting for them then unless they’re playing my beloved Longhorns in said bowl game.

I don’t know why I’m getting behind this team, it’s not a sudden onset of civic pride or anything. Maybe it’s because UH’s success takes me back to a simpler time, when Astroturf and flat tops (wait for it…) reigned supreme.

Not really sure, but what is for sure is that though neither Stifler’s mom or Stacy’s mom live in H-town, it’s beginning to look like College Football sure does. Right, Andre?

Andre Ware

Kindled

Kindled
1: to catch fire
2: to flare up
3: to become animated
4: to become illuminated
5: to get hit so hard by a certain Texas defensive end that you lose your helmet, drop the ball and lose a contact

No need to use it in a sentence when you have a visual:

KindleAP

“Tortillas are best used for tacos” –BJG

This from a good friend of mine in reference to the asinine custom of Texas Tech fans of throwing my native land’s traditional fare onto the field. I guess when your program is tradition-starved you do what you do to generate a certain esprit de corps.

Last Saturday night’s match up between Texas and Texas Tech was hyped up by ABC as a “revenge” game. Revenge against the Red Raiders for crushing the ‘Horns title hopes last season.

Texas did beat Tech 34-24 last Saturday night. However, even if the ‘Horns had blown the Red Raiders out, that still wouldn’t have undone what transpired last year on the High Plains or erased the dull ache that Longhorn Nation feels when recalling those events. I still can’t watch Crabtree’s play without feeling nauseous.

If you want expert analysis of the win, you won’t find it here but you will find it over at Barking Carnival (no one does better than Scipio Tex):

Texas Tech Post Mortem

Just like Earl Thomas and Curtis Brown became part of former Tech receiver Michael Crabtree’s draft reel, now Tech QB Taylor Potts has become a centerpiece in UT defensive end Sergio Kindle’s.

Here’s the video of Mr. Kindle em, kindling Todd Parker, er Taylor Potts,

Pedialyte

Pedialyte

The Elixir of Champions

Well I don’t know about “champions” but it is the libation that one Colt McCoy drank at halftime of the Texas-Texas Tech game last Saturday as he was recovering from the flu. Read about it here.

This from the story,

NCAA rules prohibit McCoy from endorsements, but come January we might see a new face promoting Pedialyte that replaces the bear currently on the label.

I’d take it further and exploit the uncanny resemblance of our beloved quarterback to former “must-have” holiday toy, the Furby. Check it out:

Furby
Seriously, no relation

On a serious note, let’s hope that Colt regains his form from last season before the Mighty Miners from UTEP come to the ATX this Saturday.

Never Forget

“Soon we will have revenge.” –Darth Maul

Not trying to piggyback the last post by quoting another George Lucas creation but the Texas-Texas Tech game is tomorrow and it will serve all Longhorns well to stew on the events that transpired the last time these 2 teams met.

If you want video of it you can watch it in this excellent write-up:

Pirate Sundry

While I can’t bring myself to press play on the vid, I can stew by watching a shot of the one-sided Duel of the Fates:

CrabtreeDarren Carroll/SI

Here’s to a dismantling of the Red Raiders tomorrow night before a national audience on ABC.

Hook ‘em!

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