The First Fists Open Up Friday Linkage

Three-fourths of the First Family hard at play on the Gulf Coast:

“What coast?  GULF COAST!”

The other fourth? She’s probably too busy focusing on her future presidency (a preview here) and has no time for such trivialities as putt-putt.

Here are the week’s links:


Residents of Sac-town, hide your kids, hide your wife, there are zebras on the loose… Mark Driscoll’s helpful  thoughts on Anne Rice’s departure from the shores of Christianity…  You gotta use Starbucks’ designated size names (Tall, Grande, Venti) or face getting the boot like this prof did…  Ann Coulter?  She’s complicated…  Chicharito made his Man U home debut last Monday and was greeted with “rapturous applause”… A Houston teenager is slain by a tag team consisting of a permanent resident and an undocumented alien, her uncle “would like to see what they’re doing in Arizona done here” so clearly, he must clearly be a racist…This week’s entry into the “Best Illustration of Romans 1:21-24″  sweepstakes.  A contest which unfortunately we have all submitted an entry to…

The Ubiquitous Chicharito Tops Friday Linkage

Mexico’s rising star and child of promise, Javier “Chicharito” (Little Pea) Hernandez is everywhere. Scoring goals against the World Champs in Azteca, off his face against Chelsea in the FA Community Shield Cup; gracing the front page of the Daily Mail’s football section under “Premier League Podcast” (below, second from left), and last but certainly not least residing in the lung of a senior citizen.

The kid hasn’t played one game in the EPL and he’s put up next to League stars Fàbregas, Lampard and Gerrard. Hope the pressure doesn’t crush our beloved little pea…

and here is the smorgasbord that is, Friday Linkage:

The ‘Stros kind of get some overseas love, and yes she broke up with him but not over him letting her get hit by the foul ball...  The Faith of Katy Perry and the eventual fate of Katy Perry’s music…Yep, I’m one of these 40%ers Here’s a column titled, “America’s Biggest Jobs Program — the U.S. Military”, written by, wait for it, a Berkeley prof. Maybe not quite the inspiration for Gibby’s “eliminating the Pentagon” blast but… Apparently Jennifer Aniston drew the ire of former Inside Edition luminary Bill O’Reilly by believing it to be a good idea to drive a car with your feet. And oh by the way, Aniston paid it forward Puritan anchor babies, need I say more? Finally, we are less than a month away from seeing these boys (below) in action. #81 there to the right is all-around great guy Sam Acho, here’s a great story about him…

[Photo credit: Peter Read Miller/Sports Illustrated]

I’m Just Sipping on Chamomile

Depression is no laughing matter and here is a slide show about the things one should say and not say a loved one who suffers from this disorder.

#10 on the “what not to say” list caught my eye,

Have you tried chamomile tea?

It caught my eye because:

1.  Of the sheer inanity of the suggestion

2.  Chamomile tea, in my small corner of Mexicaness, was touted as the the cure-all for a varied list of ailments.

Paralyzing stomachaches, debilitating headaches, searing chest pains all were said to succumb to the analgesic powers of the brew made from Matricaria recutita.

I can personally attest to its ability to scare away a good stomachache.

This reminds me of Chris Rock’s description of the health plan available to his family growing up:

That’s right. When l was a kid, we didn’t have no insurance. We didn’t have a damn thing.
You had to be damn near dead to see the doctor.

You had to be way past Robitussin.

That’s all we had when l was a kid: Robitussin.

No matter what you got, Robitussin better handle it.

”Daddy, l got asthma.”
-”Robitussin.”

”l got cancer.”
-”Robitussin.”

l broke my leg, Daddy poured Robitussin on it. ”Yeah, boy, let that ‘tussin get in there. Yeah, boy, let that ‘tussin get on down to the bone. The ‘tussin ought to straighten out the bone. lt’s good.”

Confessions Of An Edward Teamster

Disclaimer: This post is written by someone who has had an unnaturally obsession with the most popular products of George Lucas’ mind and as a result knows more about that ancient and distant galaxy than anyone outside of Skywalker Ranch has any business knowing.

Straight up, I have never read or watched anything from the Twilight franchise. Therefore I am singularly unqualified to critique the merits of said franchise. I do know that the young people eat this stuff up as if the antidote was in it.

Based on the few interactions I’ve had with the Twilight, it seems to be a love story about a whiny vampire and the even whinier heroine who loves him. A saga so shiny and happy that it makes Sylvia Plath’s work read like the complete and unabridged works of Barney the Dinosaur. (right)

But in this story, there is a wrinkle in the form a fellow who doesn’t seem so whiny, a ripped werewolf who in a past life constituted one half of the dynamic duo that was Shark Boy and Lava Girl.

Our whiny heroine can’t decide between the whiny vampire or the heavy-browed werewolf or as this writer put it,

Bella must choose between Ed the Undead and Jake the Pecs, a decision that seems to be, if you think about it, a straightforward choice between necrophilia and bestiality.

And you’ll never see this love story the same way ever again…

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