Imagine There’s No A/C…

It’s easy if you try. This fellow is even more idealistic than John Lennon, and based solely on “Imagine” that’s saying a lot.


♫ Some say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one ♫

Elsewhere around the Internets:

Forget false imprisonment, this momo should be locked up for uttering “Ironing is woman’s work”. Then in prison he can find out that gender roles get a tad blurry…

When an news item contains the phrase “Mexican Clown” it’s not going to be good and it isn’t.

Awesome article on Yankee Mariano Rivera, perhaps the best closer of all time and a seemingly model human being. I know he’s a Yankee but I just can’t bring myself to heap on him the same loathing I have for the rest of his teammates.

More World Cup fall out… Spain welcomes her heroes with style… Paul the Octopus wins something México will never win, a World Cup… Tell us how you really feel Johnny.

A study by the CDC? With collaboration from what, the state of Arizona? The goal of this study is laid bare for anyone willing to connect the dots, someone call Oliver Stone.

Next time you see a “metal detectorist” at the beach, give the man a wide berth.

[Photo Credit: Pixar]

Putin’s New Challenge(r)

Because counting coup with Siberian tigers and riding horseback bare-chested just don’t sate his virile appetite, Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has received a worthy wrestling partner from the Iranians: a leopard.

Maybe Putin had to go into the animal kingdom for a worthy adversary because his wrestling (but not in that way) partner Russian President Dmitry Medvedev no longer provided a challenge.

Who knows what the PM is thinking? I do know that if Volodya ever wants to test his mettle against Chuck Norris I wouldn’t want to be within a continent and a half of such a clash.

The ABC story states, “Tough guy Putin is an unlikely environmentalist…”

Does this imply that environmentalists, as a general rule, are limp-wristed pansies?

As we do after every post centered on El Putin, here’s an oldie but a goodie:

Institutionalized

Believe what you want. These walls are funny. First you hate ‘em, then you get used to ‘em. After long enough, you get so you depend on ‘em. That’s “institutionalized.” — Ellis Boyd “Red” Redding (below)

Red

I’ve never been in prison, but Red’s words can’t be far off the mark. Confinement will have some effect on the confined. Red was referring to humans but I think the same can be said of wild animals who are put in zoos.

A zoo, for all the wonder it generates in children, is nothing more than a prison for our furry, scaly, or feathered friends. Now, I’m not going to go as far as some and suggest that they be outlawed, but last time I visited one, it was depressing.

Check out this vid taken at the National Zoo in Washington D.C.

In the wild, this deer would be lunch for this lioness. Yet, because she’s been fed like a house cat and not allowed to chase live prey, this lioness can’t even put an end to Bambi and thus enjoy her first kill in who knows how long. The deer did eventually die from its wounds, but I doubt that the carcass was fed to the real-life Naala.

You can hear the crowd cheering for the deer but if yours truly had been there, I would have been the only one rooting for the lioness.

About the only thing “wild” that lives on in this lioness is the reluctance to jump into deep water.

Like Brooks, who Red is describing, it’s safe to say this magnificent lioness has been institutionalized.

Here’s the story the vid came from:

Tragic end for the zoo deer who leapt into a lion enclosure

Nancy Bearigan Does What Comes Naturally

Apparently it is common in Russia to teach bears how to ice skate and play ice hockey for the spectacle of it all.

Bear

In one particular case, this had fatal consequences for one trainer:

Ice-skating circus bear ‘tears trainer to pieces’ in front of horrified children

When I hear of tragic events such as this one, Chris Rock’s words in response to allegations of Montecore’s (the tiger that nearly killed Roy Horn) insanity come to mind:

That tiger ain’t go crazy; that tiger went tiger! You know when he was really crazy? When he was riding around on a unicycle with a Hitler helmet on!

The same could be applied to the bear that killed its handler. The bear didn’t go nuts, he was nuts when he was pulling off triple toe loops up and down the rink.

Gotta feel bad for the trainer’s family and friends, and the parents of the poor kids, who witnessed the mauling, will be forking over some serious soms to pay for a lifetime of therapy bills.

I still don’t see why the bear had to be put down, he’s only doing what bears do, no?

¡Córrele Güey!

This post is brought to you by the most dangerous animal in Africa. No, not the lion, the leopard or the crocodile, but the lean and svelte “river horse”.

Here is a picture of one of the portly beasts forcing a park ranger to break Usain Bolt’s record of 9.58 seconds in the 100 m. Admittedly, the addition of rampaging animals would make the Summer Olympics more interesting.

Hippopotamus chasing man

Here’s the story behind the shot:

Shocked gamekeeper runs for his life from three ton hippo

Putin Strikes a Centauric Pose

As chronicled here and here, the inimitable Prime Minister of Russia, one Vladimir Putin (all Spanish speakers say “hey-o!”), has a penchant for getting in touch with his masculinity or at least getting photographed in virile poses.

While the things which are emerging as the hallmarks of manhood such as wearing scarves in summer and sporting a perpetual pout might sate the up-and-comers, Putin’s act takes us back to the days Archie and Edith crooned about (“Girls were girls and men were men.”)

Here’s his latest attempt to take manhood back:

Centaur

Alexsey Druginyn/AFP/Getty Images

Eat your heart out Chiron and Firenze, here comes the P.M.

You can read about his latest adventure here.

One can almost say Putin’s feats of strength are his attempts of shaking the unshakable Spanish translation of his surname.

Leviticus and Its Antiquated Moral Laws

For example,

“Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it.”
Leviticus 18:23

This is yet another example of those “Middle-Eastern camel-herders” imposing their narrow-minded views on the rest of the human race.

What was it with these meddling people and their obsession with our genitals? Live and let live right? Who are they to tell us anything? I mean Jesus never spoke out against this did He? No, I didn’t think so!

While this line of reasoning might be hoisted up as an adequate and apt response to Leviticus 18:22, I hardly doubt the same reasoning will be applied to the case of a gentleman by the name of Rodell Vereen.

According to this story, Mr. Vereen is accused of the thing which Leviticus 18:23 forbids and if convicted, faces up to 5 years in the clink.

Philip, I mean, Rodell was caught inside the stable by the stable’s owner, Barbara Kenley (below) Stablewho by all accounts, agrees wholeheartedly with Leviticus 18:23.

As do all her horse-owning neighbors who informed her that she “should have shot [Vereen]”.

Leaves one to wonder who Kenley and her neighbors think they are. Conjuring up outdated moral codes to impose restraints on first Mr. Vereen, and if we’re not careful, the rest of society. Watch out College Station, they’re coming for you next.

It should surprise no one that this circle of close-minded horse owners all live in South Carolina.

As if you couldn’t tell by the gun…

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