México’s Nigerian Nightmare Signs with AC Milan

Oguchi Onyewu, the man who has done more damage to México since Gen. Winfield Scott, has been signed by AC Milan, one of the premier fútbol/football/soccer clubs in the world.

Whereas Gen. Scott stormed Chapultepec Castle and unintentionally gave us Mexicans one of our most beloved, if not over-romanticized,heroes, Onyewu, Team USA’s world-class central defender, has been terrorizing Mexican strikers and forwards since 2004.

Here he is abusing another one of my native country’s over-romanticized heroes, striker Jared Borghetti,

Jonathan Daniel/GettyImages

Onyewu, who is of Nigerian descent, has been a huge reason why México has not figured out Team USA in nearly a decade (at least on American soil).

While playing with the Rossoneri will make Gooch (as Onyewu is affectionately called) even more formidable, and this bodes ill for my beloved Tri, the signing is well-deserved. His recent performance in the Confederations Cup (especially against Spain) showed that he is world-class.