Friends are Friends Forever

Artists strive to em, evolve and reinvent themselves while staying true to their roots. Israel Houghton is a worship leader at Lakewood Church as well as a Grammy-winning recording artist.

Personally, I enjoyed his oft-covered hit, “Friend of God”. I don’t keep up with Houghton, don’t know what he’s currently up to but I have a project for him.

In the spirit of Jaime Escalante’s brilliant cover of Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up”, I propose that he do a rewrite of “Friend of God”.

To what? Well, the inspiration sprouted from this press release:

Darwin Stands Tall in Texas!

3 professors from Texas universities have won the coveted “Friend of Darwin” award for:

• Making “evolution education safe for kids throughout the Republic of Texas”
• Standing “tall for evolution”
• Fighting “the good fight for science”

Frankly, they also deserved the Presidential Medal of Freedom for their courage in the face of such “adversity” AND a $25 Starbucks gift card , but I digress.

♫Friends are friends forever, if Charles’ is the Lord of them♫

That’s the inspiration, here’s the result:

I am a friend of Chuck
I am a friend of Chuck
I am a friend of Chuck
He calls me friend!

Really though, I think the NCSE might be better served adopting Pearl Jam’s “Do the Evolution” as the official song (and video) of the “Friend of Darwin” award.

The Vatican Commits Cardinal Sin

Back in college, I knew a guy who was a huge Beatles fan. On numerous occassions, I cheekily compared the Fab Four to a then-upstart Oasis. If looks could kill, his glare would have rendered me asunder.

Of course I made the comparison in jest because let’s face it, Oasis is nothing more than a Beatles tribute band with “original” material.

Which leads us to the Vatican’s cardinal sin, likening Oasis to the Be-uhls. At least according to the following slideshow (see slide #5):

Vatican’s Top 10 rock albums

In case you’re wondering, here are the Vatican’s top 10 albums to have in case you’re shipwrecked:

1. Revolver by the Beatles
2. If I could Only Remember My Name by David Crosby
3. The Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd
4. Rumours by Fleetwood Mac
5. The Nightfly by Donald Fagen
6. Thriller by Michael Jackson
7. Graceland by Paul Simon
8. Achtung Baby by U2
9. (What’s the story) Morning Glory by Oasis
10. Supernatural by Carlos Santana

My only question is, where’s Sinéad O’Connor? If you remember, Ms. O’Connor wasn’t too kind to a picture of Pope Benedict’s predecessor,

How many Hail Mary’s do you get for ripping up the Pope’s picture? Or do you just get to sit in timeout?

Jaime Escalante Will Win American Idol Season 9

The remaining 12 girls performed tonight on American Idol. The verdict? An all-around snoozefest. Save for the look on Simon Cowell’s face after fellow judge Kara Guardio channeled her inner Paula and commented that “Leona Lewis is her generation’s Mariah Carey”. Huh? Leona couldn’t carry Mariah’s, oh never mind.

It was painfully obvious that none of the 12 remaining songstresses will win Season 9, but Lilly Scott might have a shot at making the final on the strength of her rocking the Madam Mim look.

Personally, I think this competition is locked up. As this post’s title brazenly states, retired Calculus teacher, Jaime Escalante will take the disco ball, er fat recording contract come May 26.

Here’s Jaime on the right and in Idol form on the left (no pun intended my Russian readers).

And on a related note, to be sure, Mr. Escalante can count on this man for support:

Cadaver Synod Redux?

I know that artists who are cut down in their prime, somehow, someway continue to release new tracks if not albums (see Tupac, Kurt Cobain et al).

♫ Son, she said, have I got a little story for you ♫

This phenomenon whips their devoted fans into a frenzy, leading them to believe that the object of their devotion faked his/her own death so as to jettison the Atlas-like burden from their pampered shoulders. Presumably so as to lead the quiet life “fate” denied them, all the while perpetually perfecting their art in a bunker somewhere.

Admit it, Nirvana’s “You Know You’re Right” would have passed by with nary a whimper had Cobain been alive.

So we come to another famous but troubled soul, Ana Nicole Smith, a woman who has been dead for almost 2 years. Apparently, she is being investigated. For what you may ask? Let’s go to the tape:

AP: Anna Nicole Smith investigated in murder plot

Since dead music icons keep making music, let’s not rule out any impossibilities. Let’s say the investigators find that yes, Smith really did plot her son-in-law’s murder. What are the authorities going to do about it? Recreate a modern-day Cadaver Synod?

[That's Pope Formosus on the right, they disinterred the poor chap and dressed him up in his Sunday best and brought him to trial.]

Probably not, I don’t think you’re going to find someone as unstable as Pope Stephen VII (the man who brought Formosus’ corpse to trial) to do the deed.

One thing is for sure though, if this happened, Smith’s greasy “companion” Howard K. Stern would try to find a way to make a buck from it.

Fe-y

With the acquisition of a new iPod comes the Herculean task of loading it up with one’s CD library. One of the CD’s in my library is Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy and while I was ripping it, I perused the album notes.  By the way, like a fine wine, “Betterman” gets better with age.

The copy of a petition is found in the album’s booklet. The lyrics to “Whipping” (one of the tracks) are written on the same page. It is my understanding that the song is a protest against the murder of David Gunn, an abortion doctor, by an “anti-abortionist”. Marilyn Manson also wrote a missive against this crime and correctly called this murder the “ultimate hypocrisy”. Wow Manson and I actually agree on something.

Here’s the petition:

PRESIDENT CLINTON,
I AM OUTRAGED BY THE SHOOTING OF DR. DAVID L. GUNN WHO PERFORMED ABORTIONS. IN SIGNING THIS PETITION I AM DEMANDING FEDERAL INTERVENTION INTO THIS PROBLEM. CERTAIN PRO-LIFE PROTESTERS ARE GOING BEYOND VERBAL PROTEST AGAINST DOCTORS AND PRACTITIONERS WHO PERFORM ABORTIONS AND THE WOMEN GOING TO GET THEM. I BELIEVE IN FREEDOM OF SPEECH BUT THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING WOMEN AND DOCTOR’S FREEDOMS WHICH ARE, PROTECTED UNDER THE LAW AS WELL. THESE PROTESTS ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS HAVE BECOME VIOLENT, CLINICS HAVE BEEN SET AFIRE AND NOW A DOCTOR HAS BEEN KILLED. PLEASE PUT A STOP TO THE HARASSMENT AND VIOLENCE BEFORE MORE PEOPLE ARE HURT. — ED VEDDER

Let me be really clear, I’m not in the camp that believes doctors who kill unborn children perform abortions deserve to be killed.  Frankly, people in this camp frighten me especially those who identify themselves as followers of Christ.   It is a point of fact that we are all sinners and as such we all deserve death, but a patient, merciful and gracious God exists that brings us back to Him.

I find it interesting that Vedder was concerned that more people (abortion doctors) will be hurt unless then President Clinton takes action, yet Vedder (with his pro-choice stance) has no problem with status quo which allows for the the mortal dismemberment of unborn children.

What do you think Alanis?

Couldn’t Stand the Weather

I recently began reading A.W. Pink’s “The Sovereignty of God”. Given the title, it is not an intellectual exercise to determine the book’s subject.

As is my custom during my commute (no worries, I ride a bus) I read, and on this particular dreary morning I cracked open Mr. Pink’s classic treatise.

In the chapter titled “Sovereignty of God in Administration”, he wrote the following,

Truly, then, God governs inanimate matter. Earth and air, fire and water, hail and snow, stormy winds and angry seas, all perform the word of His power and fulfill His Sovereign pleasure. Therefore, when we complain about the weather we are, in reality, murmuring against God. (emphasis mine)

For some odd reason, Stevie Ray Vaughn’s (below), “Couldn’t Stand the Weather”, came to mind when I read that.

For not so odd reasons, I thought of all the times I’ve groused about the weather. “It’s too sunny…it’s too wet…it’s too cold… it’s too hot… it’s too humid…”

Waaaaahhhh!

Realizing that A.W. Pink is absolutely right, I was embarrassed and humbled.

Having gleaned many nuggets from this book this morning, I reflected on what I had read as we made our way closer to our destination.

So what happens when we pull into the first stop? Mini-Deluge. No umbrella. Won’t dry off until lunchtime, at least.

A.W. Pink’s warning was immediately forgotten and the internal grousing began anew. The Lord’s frustrated words to His apostles resonated inside my thick skull,

Do you not yet understand?

More embarrassment, More humiliation. confession.

I’m not sure what SRV had in mind when he wrote, “Couldn’t Stand the Weather”, but I found the following lyrics fitting if by “daddy” we mean Abba:

Runnin through this business of life
Rarely time if Im needed to
Aint so funny when things aint feelin right
Then daddys hand helps to see me through
Sweet as sugar, love wont wash away
Rain or shine, its always here to stay

Indeed.

Sara the Walrus

Here is what Chris Rock said after famous animal trainer, Roy Horn, was mauled by Manticore, one of his white tigers, back in ’03:

That tiger ain’t go crazy; that tiger went tiger! You know when he was really crazy? When he was riding around on a unicycle with a Hitler helmet on!

That line came to mind after seeing this over at the Daily Mail,

(AP Photo/Murad Sezer)

Here’s hoping Sara doesn’t drop her saxophone and go walrus on Sergiy, her trainer.

Here’s the story on Sara,

“I am the trumpet-playing walrus: Flippered friend Sara delights the audience with her people skills”

Brent Musburger is not a fan of Beyoncé

ABC is set to air the 2008 American Music Awards tomorrow and has been incessantly running promos.

Even during Saturday Night Football, the guys in the booth have to read copy promoting this thing.

Enter 69-year-old Brent Musburger (below doing a heck of a Frankie Carbone impersonation minus the man-perm).

As he is beginning to tell us about the AMAs, I tell my wife “He probably doesn’t even know who the perfomers are.”

True to form Musburger tells us that one of the performers is “Beyonz”.  Of course, the rest of the world knows “Beyonz” as Houston’s own, Beyoncé Knowles (below):

Not only did my wife, myself and millions of other viewers have a good laugh, Musburger’s broadcast partner, Kirk Herbstreit, also had a good laugh but composed himself enough to correct his elder on the correct pronunciation of Beyoncé’s name.

Though Herbie was still too much in the bag not to admit before a national TV audience that he had caught Beyoncé’s act in last week’s Saturday Night Live.

I’m sure the ABC brass will forgive the golden one for dabbling in NBC programming.

As for Musburger, we all know that he’s a big fan of the Big 10 and any team that plays my Texas Longhorns but now we know that he’s not a big Beyoncé guy.

Though thanks to sideline reporter Lisa Salter’s racially awkward comment, we might have found out that Musburger digs Kenny Chesney.

Oh yeah OU thumped Tech, 65-21.

On to Stoolwater, where the fate of a conference will be decided…

Ben Shapiro Hits the Nail on the Head

One of the things that was hyped up in this recent election was the newfound enthusiasm of youth towards Barack Obama the political process.

Cue the music:

I was personally told that it was exciting to see so many young people voting and caring about the direction their country would be taking in the next 4 years.

That’s good and all but are the folks who waxed poetic about all this aware that no good has come out of youth-fueled political movements? While it is not a given that age brings wisdom, for the most part it can be said that age does bring valuable experience. What is done with that experience is, of course, at the mercy of human nature/depravity.

These thoughts swirled around in my head, then I ran across this column by 24-year-old (gasp!) Ben Shapiro:

The Sheer Idiocy of Following Youth Movements

He lists several historical examples (Hitler Youth, Soviet Communism, Maoism, etc) to back up his thesis.

Here’s how Shapiro closes it out,

Young people should be involved in politics — they should protect their interests. But they, like all other voters, should be expected to get informed, not just motivated; they, like all other voters, should be expected to learn about policy, not merely follow a leader.

And the rest of America should be expected to take the voting preferences of those who have never studied history, held a job, paid a bill, or built a family, with a large grain of salt.

Right on the head…

Comparing Barack Obama to Royalty

No, the post does not refer to the endless and erroneous comparisons to Camelot, the closest America has had to even a hint of royalty.

The comparison is to Princess Di and it came in one of the 2 columns referenced here.

Both of these pieces ran in the UK’s Daily Mail, quick someone cue up Paperback Writer!

One piece is written by Peter Hitchens (below)

The night we waved goodbye to America… our last best hope on Earth

To paraphrase Brian Giles, “his brother’s Christopher”

Whether or not Mr. Hitchens’ laid it on a little thick with the column’s title can only be ascertained after reading his opinion. I thought he made a couple of keen and dispassionate observations.

Here’s the intro to the column,

Anyone would think we had just elected a hip, skinny and youthful replacement for God, with a plan to modernise Heaven and Hell – or that at the very least John Lennon had come back from the dead.

The swooning frenzy over the choice of Barack Obama as President of the United States must be one of the most absurd waves of self-deception and swirling fantasy ever to sweep through an advanced civilisation. At least Mandela-worship – its nearest equivalent – is focused on a man who actually did something.

I really don’t see how the Obama devotees can ever in future mock the Moonies, the Scientologists or people who claim to have been abducted in flying saucers. This is a cult like the one which grew up around Princess Diana, bereft of reason and hostile to facts.

It can be argued that Obamamania hasn’t been described any better than this.

The second piece is by Liz Jones and it focuses on our future First Lady, Michelle Obama.